Wednesday, January 13, 2010

The End from the Beginning

/begin Public Service Message
Please consider making a donation to Doctors Without Borders in Haiti (see link image to the right) to help with the earthquake relief. For the cost of a skein of sock yarn, you can help.
/end Public Service Message

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Today I had a thought. As we've just begun a new year, many bloggers are posting End of the Year summations, Words of the Year, and resolutions/goals/to-do/bucket lists.

I keep running into resolutions written in the "I will/I am going to" form. This year, I'm going to...

I know it took me a long time to realize that I was also setting my intentions in future tense (I will, I am going to). The problem with this is that it leaves the manifestation in the "somewhere, somehow, someday" of tomorrow. It's in front of us, but just out of reach.

The Law of Attraction—and the Bible, for that matter—teaches that intentions are best set in the present as if they have already happened—NOW. See the end from the beginning—visualize yourself just after the result has manifested, and experience what it is like to have it:

Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.

—Mark 11:24 NIV


So I got to thinking, and I thought: Why not post the resolutions as if it's the END of 2010, and everything I wanted to say "I will" do, I've done, or it's happened?

Such as:

It's December 31, 2010, and I weigh 140 sleek, sculpted pounds. I feel better than I have in years. I've been working out regularly, and enjoying every minute of it.

I passed PNH Level Two FreeStyle in the spring, and my blue string arrived before my birthday. I rode in two Parelli clinics; went to the PNH Celebration in Columbus as my birthday gift to myself; finally got to attend a PNH Savvy Conference in October in Florida (!); and found a great deal on a gently used Parelli saddle that I could actually afford, AND I had the money for it!

I took several art classes and workshops, passed the GRE with an astoundingly good score, applied to several graduate schools, and got accepted into my three top choices, despite applying late! I'm now in grad school working on my MFA and loving every minute of it.

My old house sold right away, early in the year, and I got more for it than I was expecting. It was a smooth, easy transaction, and I'm relieved that it's behind me.

I've been selling so much yarn in my online store that I can barely keep up! Between that and a few other income-generating opportunities I've developed this past year, I'm surviving quite nicely and remain liberated by choice from the workforce....

And so on. So, how about it? How about we try writing our story backwards this year? Kind of like writing the Annual Christmas Brag Letter a year ahead of time.

It just might make a huge difference.

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Friday, January 01, 2010

And the Word of the Year for 2010 is...

And the Word of the Year is...

BALANCE

I'm laughing because this is completely ironic. And uncanny. Yesterday morning, as I do every morning, I wrote in my journal. The theme was about needing to find the "just right" point.

I was sent a lot of mixed messages as a child; such as, "you try too hard/you don't try hard enough". It left me feeling like a pendulum, constantly swinging between the two sides, seeking that perfect, centered, middle point of rest.

I didn't manage to find it while Mother was alive. Mother was not only the source of the mixed messages; she was also the litmus test that indicated how close I was to finding the center. Life was a constant game of shifting a little bit that way, then a little bit the other but never hitting the mark.

After she died, there was no litmus test, no one to monitor my progress and tell me if I was warm or cold. I've been struggling with indecision, a lack of confidence, uncertainty; I start something, second-guess it, drop it and start something else. Repeat. The lack of commitment and follow-through on my part means the engine on one project doesn't even get a chance to warm up before it is shut off in favor of the next project. Imagine the effect that has on one's career path.

All I'm seeking is the "just right" point: where I can feel confident, decisive, certain, and centered. No longer wavering between maybe this, maybe that. Knowing that the choice I've committed to is one I can commit to, and that I'm certain of it and at peace with the outcome.

Of course, I could also use courage, clarity, prosperity, and a host of other qualities. So I typed these and many other positive words into Excel (because it can sort alphabetically), printed them out, cut them into strips, folded them up, tossed them into a hat, and shuffled vigorously. At precisely 12:10 AM, I held the hat above my head, asked the Universe to show me what I most needed to invite into my life in 2010, stuck my hand in and pulled out a word.

Out of over 160 possible words, BALANCE rose to the top.

Universe, you have one hell of a sense of humor. :-)