Saturday, April 12, 2008

You Should See the Other Guy

The other guy is totally unharmed. Because the other guy is a wheelbarrow.

I'd take a picture, but I'd rather not post my naked protruding belly online until I've had the chance to whittle it down a bit. But take my word for it.

When one is hustling a wheelbarrow across a yard to a burning, smoking manure pile in hurricane winds; and when said wheelbarrow (the deep kind) contains a load of heavy, wet manure measuring approximately 2 feet by 2 feet by 1 feet and weighing approximately 20,000 tons; one should ensure the smoothness of the traveling surface before deciding to move double-time (despite the imminent threat of rain).

One should also keep in mind that it is best to move in harmony with said wheelbarrow. This means that when said wheelbarrow decides to snag its wheel on a yard divot and come to a sudden and complete stop, one's physical presence should also magically come to a sudden and complete stop, because failure to do so may result in the acquisition of a bruise the size of a muffin and the color of fresh plums, courtesy of drilling the wheelbarrow's large wooden handle firmly into one's belly.

That's OK. I was done using that ovary.



At 7:16 PM, April 12, 2008, Blogger Sheepish Annie said...

Well, as long as it was just an ovary. I have yet to find a purpose for mine in my forty something years on this planet.

But, I couldn't help but make an "oof" noise when the story reached it's pinnacle. That sounds very, very painful!!!

At 7:28 PM, April 12, 2008, Anonymous Anonymous said...

and I couldn't help but think "oh goody, she's gonna tell me about landing in a pile of poop and how hilarious (yet disgusting) it was.

Ok, Sorry about the ovary, but a pic of you all covered in poo woulda been FUNNY! funny as shit! Get it? heheheheheh

At 10:28 AM, April 13, 2008, Blogger becky c. said...

No picture needed - description sufficient. Yowch!!

At 5:05 PM, April 15, 2008, Anonymous tiennie said...

Hope you're OK!

Fantastic news on the sales!


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