Friday, February 09, 2007

OK Maybe I Overreacted A Little

Quite a mindspin yesterday, eh? I have to wonder if I'm bipolar. Every now and then, I have a day where I feel about like the cats do around twilight—"the crazies"—except mine is mental. I only bounce off the walls of my brain.

I'm glad to report: that I slept well, surprisingly; that today's classes were benign, no extra homework, no pop quizzes; and that a couple of people have offered new perspectives on the matter that have helped considerably. (They've also caused me to privately question my sanity for reacting the way I did.)

Mother of Chaos commented:
Try not to think of this as a screw up - it's just a missed opportunity.

Opportunities are around you Every. Single. Day. They're like a bus - when you miss one it sucks, but another WILL come along.

And sometimes, missing one is the painful education you need to recognize and grab the next one.
Good point.

Another friend reminded me today that for all I know, there could have been a very valid reason for Dad to have sold the stock—such as feeling that the economy was changing, and he was worried about losing it all. Friend said the stock market is not predictable, and there is no way Dad could have predicted:
  1. that the value would have doubled in two years based on info at the time or
  2. that he was going to die before paying the taxes.
Hindsight is 20/20. Friend said the sale may have had—probably had—nothing to do with me at all; that in fact, Dad's financial advisor might have advised him to do it then and Dad just followed his trusted FA's advice.

Immediately, I stopped feeling like I'd been punched in the gut. Friend's right, you know. I didn't even think of that. At all. My only thought was, "my fault". I caused it, I'm the reason, they did it to help me because I worried them so. Never once did I consider another alternative. Now. That there is a big issue I need to discuss with someone. Because, why would I do that to myself? Why would I instantly assume that it's All My Fault when it probably had nothing (directly) to do with me? What's that about?

I'm still sorry we missed the opportunity to each be nearly 100k richer; then again... those with deep religious beliefs would probably tell me "cheer up, God has a better plan than that for you". Well, maybe the Universal Life Force/God/dess/Diety indeed does have a better plan. I bought my Mega Millions ticket just in case.

PS: check out what my horoscope says in the sidebar. Hmph.

**Edited: since the horoscope changes everyday, here's what the horoscope said that made me harrumph:

Cancer (23 June to 23 July)
An unresolved problem, or query with a financial matter, is unlikely to be resolved for about three to six weeks. Paper work seems to be a problem.



At 5:37 PM, February 09, 2007, Anonymous Colleen said...

You know, everyone's allowed a freak out day/week/year. And, as for blaming yourself, sometimes I think that's a product of just being . . . female. It's okay to freak out a bit every now and again. I don't think we'd be the adorable, endearing humans we are if we didn't.


At 9:43 PM, February 09, 2007, Blogger Sheepish Annie said...

Just caught up with your!!! That's been a doozy. And that is just about the biggest understatement I've ever made. A good freak-out is healthy. I think it is the fastest way to process stuff before getting to the place where you can effectively deal with it.

And chocolate. Chocolate is also healthy in these situations.

At 1:42 AM, February 10, 2007, Blogger Jeanne said...

I just hate how it feels to be in the middle of the freak out. Thanks, gals, for your support. It's been a tough one but I think there's a silver lining in there somewhere.

At 4:11 PM, February 10, 2007, Blogger Carrie K said...

Oh good, I was going to echo what Mother of Chaos and your friend told you. They're both right. Opportunities abound. Some you get, some you don't. And the stock market is volatile. Your friend is right, your dad could have had a very good reason and hindsight is 20/20.

As for you immediately assuming all blame/guilt? You know, I think that's one way we have of convincing ourselves that we're in control of the situation. We could effect it. (Affect?) We're in charge. When the fact of the matter is, we're at the mercy of all sorts of seen and unseen forces. Which is scary as hell.

At 11:07 AM, February 12, 2007, Anonymous Stick said...

OOH, Horoscopes can get right to you sometimes, can't they?


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