Unfortunately, I Hate Time Worthless Cable Company

My guilty pleasure at the end (beginning?) of every week is watching Desperate Housewives (on regular cable) followed by The L Word (on Showtime). I begrudgingly pay for the premium channel for one show and one show only. It's just that good.

Imagine how I felt tonight when I flipped over during a DH commercial break to discover that Showtime, ShowtimeToo, ShowtimeHD, ShowtimeBeyond, and ShowCase were all showing a BLACK screen with no sound! Now the funny thing is, ShowExtreme, ShowNext, ShowWomen, and ShowFamily were coming in just FINE. Even ShowtimeOnDemand would come in if I were willing to add the $6.95/month service to my cable programming.

Naturally, The L Word is on Showtime or ShowtimeHD. The black ones.

I called TimeWorthless Cable. Five minutes of on-hold. Twenty minutes of trying to reboot the box with no successful changes and the Customer Service Gal (SCG) sending signals to try to jumpstart it.

I gave up. There would be no L for me tonight. Thankfully, it replays several times throughout the week and I could catch it later.

Or could I?

I asked CSG with a sigh "so, when can the technician show up?" figuring mid-week at the latest and I'd be back in business.

CSG: "The soonest we can have someone out is the 27th."

Long pause while my brain tries to figure out what's wrong with that date. "I'm sorry—what date?"

"The 27th."

Calculate... today is the 11th.

MOTHERF—you mean to tell me I have to wait SIXTEEN DAYS for a service guy to show up, wiggle some cords and get my box fixed?!?

"Unfortunately, that's the soonest we have a technician available."

I stated that the 27th was three weeks away.

She said, "yes, unfortunately, that's the soonest we have a technician available."

I said, "I'm sorry, but that is ABSOLUTELY unacceptable."

"Unfortunately, that's the soonest we have a technician available."

I replied, "I am paying nearly $90 per month for your service. Certainly you can do better than that."

"Unfortunately, that's the soonest we have a technician available."

I told her "well then, I suppose you can give me free Showtime for a month, then."

She said she could credit me for the time lost until the service call.

I said "for as much as I'm paying you, I think you can do better than that. I mean, three weeks for a service call is completely ridiculous." I told her when I was with Local Cable Company, the service was fantastic: answered the phone promptly, had a service guy out the next day, and extended customer satisfaction. Then I said (snidely) "I suppose your call center is in Florida, isn't it."

She said "No. It's in Zanesville (Ohio)".

OK. According to TimeWorthless' website, there are 10 Promises They Make to Us. Of those 10, two of them are:

1. Friendly, LOCAL customer service 24/7, and
2. Appointment windows available seven days a week

Zanesville may be in the same STATE as me, but it is definitely NOT anywhere near "local". Unless your definition of local is within a five-state region/300 miles.

As for appointment windows, they must mean actual physical windows at their office building in Manhattan or California or wherever the F they are. When I see seven days a week, I'm thinking WITHIN those seven days. Not three times those seven days.

Again I told her I found it absolutely unacceptable that I would have to wait three weeks—nearly an entire MONTH, mind you—to have my cable issue resolved. I let it be known in no uncertain terms that I was very upset that I had paid for this premium channel specifically for this ONE show, and that I would now be missing THREE full episodes of said show due to their lack of technical help and that it wasn't like I could catch it in reruns because it only replays during the week of the initial broadcast of the new show—I would have to watch the remainder of the season clueless as to what happened in those three lost episodes, AND I would have to wait until six or more months from now to view them either when ShowTime rebroadcast the season to gear up for the 2008 season, or until they came out on DVD. Meaning I'm wasting my money, and I am P.I.S.S.E.D.

"I'm sorry. Unfortunately, that's the soonest we have a technician available."

Unfortunately, I don't know that I feel like paying my bill anymore.

On their corporate website, their mission statement appears:

Our Mission

To create the best possible customer experience by delivering quality in-home entertainment, information and communications with superior customer care.

Unfortunately, in my case, they have failed miserably.

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Labels: things that piss me off

posted by Jeanne @ 11:49 PM