Geico
begin rant/
Hey, Geico—do me a favor. Make a decision about which ad campaign you'd like to use, then STICK TO IT. Nothing drives me more bonkers than seeing ten different types of ad campaigns for a single product in one season. Cavemen. Geckos. Jason Campbell Celebrity Endorsement "I have some good news though...". Money with eyeballs
PICK ONE!!!
I'd rather take my business to a company that knows the meaning of the word "consistent".
/end rant
Labels: things that piss me off
And I Don't Care Who Sees It
Y'know what? I don't give a F--- who reads this. Meaning, I'm not censoring myself tonight for fear that someone I don't want reading it might see it. Nope. This is truth.
I received the most preposterous email today from the lawyer handling—or should I say MIShandling—my Mother's estate. It contained some unbelieveable suggestions.
My "sister" (and I use that term very loosely as I now consider myself officially an only child because nobody treats their family that way) has suggested in the past that since she is in debt and needs money to pay her mortgages, she should be given all the money in the bank accounts NOW, and I should then wait until the other house sells before I get any money from the estate.
That basically means I am left penniless until I find a job or until my old house sells. (I've been looking while living off of my ever dwindling savings and what was left of my student loan. Well, I'm still unemployed. And they keep jettisoning thousands of workers into the unemployment lines in my area of the country. And I'm just about down to the bottom of my barrel. Oh. Wait. I still have my 401k. I suppose I could cash that in.)
Note that I have already graciously allowed her to take not one but TWO advances from the estate (to the tune of $15,000) to HELP her.
She bases this on the fact that I "already got my share" by taking the one house. Note. There are two properties in the estate. I was granted the option to choose one as my primary residence and the second would be sold and the proceeds go into the residuary estate to be divided equally. The APPRAISED VALUE is to be used to determine my half share.
OK, so I have the
equivalent in imaginary money to one house on my side. (I still have to pay taxes, insurance, and utilities to LIVE in it, mind you, and that's not imaginary money.)
The second house appraised HIGHER than the house I took.
Originally, the lawyer proposed the distribution as follows:
I get the one house
We sell the other
We divide the money in the accounts in half
When the other house sells, Nemesister gets an amount off the top of the sale equal to the appraised value of the house I chose to live in.
We split the rest of the profit from the sale.
Fair enough, right?
Keep in mind that it is practically GUARANTEED that she will make the appraised equivalent value from the sale of the lot the house is on, AND there is plenty of money in the accounts, AND there are two other lots that will bring in profit. So it's not a question of "Oh, if the house doesn't sell high enough I'll get fucked." We made very close to our asking price on one of the three lots. Even if we sold BOTH of the other lots together at HALF of what we're asking, we'll STILL be able to match the amount.
Except Dear Shitster decided that it was unfair for her to have to wait for that (despite an initial payout of several thousand dollars if we did it that way, more than enough—I would think—to cover her debts unless she did something really moronic) and proposed that she take all the cash and I wait.
I responded, "Uh, doesn't work for me." Then I reread the Will, and discussed it with the lawyer, pointing out that what he'd said originally was the best interpretation of the Will and the fairest (and, uh, gee, I have bills to pay, too).
He said, "You may be right. But your sister isn't going to like that."
Oh. So as long as SHE likes it, screw me? Doesn't matter if I like it? Doesn't matter if it hurts me? Oh, but she likes it, so it's okay.
So I hear nothing for awhile. Then I get this absolutely insane email from Her with a very bizarre accounting scheme showing how I—and these are her words—OWE her money. She goes on to insult me, tell me how to live my life, whine about how hard she's worked and how she DESERVES IT MORE THAN I DO.
I went suicidal, but didn't respond to it. I mean, what could I say?
Luckily I talked myself down off the ledge, but for crying out loud!
Oh, but it gets better.
Today's pile of manure from the lawyer (and I use that term loosely) states that he finds it reasonable to give her all the money (oh, we're back to that again are we?) and...
Get this.
SHE has suggested that if I take ANY money from the accounts now, that it should be considered a LOAN FROM HER!!!!!!!!
And that I can pay it back at any time at 6% interest—
BECAUSE THAT IS THE RATE SHE PAYS ON HER MORTGAGE.
And since SHE can't use the money yet to pay down her mortgage, apparently it's okey-dokey for ME to pay her interest FOR HER!
[insert very long loud angry string of expletives]
AND THE LAWYER THINKS THIS IS ACCEPTABLE!!!!!!
What kind of dog and pony three-ring circus IS this?
First of all, THE INHERITANCE IS A GIFT. G-I-F-T GIFT! From MOTHER to us.
NOBODY pays interest on THEIR INHERITANCE.
Secondly, IT DOESN'T MATTER ONE GODDAMNED BIT if EITHER of us is in debt, or has bills to pay, or needs the money—that is our PERSONAL SHIT. You do not, as far as I know, settle the distribution of ANOTHER PERSON'S ESTATE based on the whines and circumstances of the beneficiaries!!!!!
That is not how it is done!
Am I right?
I mean, if that's the case, then why the hell even bother with hiring a lawyer, writing a will outlining how YOU want YOUR stuff to be distributed to YOUR heirs?
If it's as simple as one child saying "gee, Mom and Dad have X in the bank and they're dead now—OK, who has the most debt? Suzy? OK, Suzy, you get more cash. Oh, Tom, you wanted to use yours for college? Well... can't you get a loan? You can? OK, then you don't need it. So, you get a lesser amount. And JimBob. You're not working. So you're a lazy loser who is just going to fritter it away on porn and beer—so, I say you get nothing even though you say you need it. Why don't you just go get a job like the rest of us? As for me, I own two businesses and I'm a hard worker—I deserve it cuz I've paid my dues—so, here's how we'll do it. Suzy and I will split the first 3/4 and Tom you get the last 1/4 and JimBob, uh, you get nothing. Great!"
I mean, HONESTLY.
I'll bet they are both counting on my not being able to afford to hire my own lawyer.
Think again.
She's dead to me.
This goes way beyond where my spirituality is capable of handling. Forgive? Hah. Maybe later.
Yes. I know. Law of Attraction? Negative energy? I'm aware of this. But I ASK YOU. HOW is this remotely FAIR? My God, if my Mother were alive right now... my Mother's Will says over and over again, "divided equally, SHARE AND SHARE ALIKE". EQUAL. FAIR.
Not, OK, one daughter can pay the other interest—I can't even SEE straight anymore! This is unreal! How on God's Green Earth did I attract THIS to me? HOW? WHY? Where is the lesson in this? All I want is to settle it the way Mother said to! The way the lawyer initially said to! It's fair! I haven't complained! I never asked for advances! I took the stance of biding my time, being patient, and waiting for it to settle the way it's meant to settle, not pushing my agenda to try to rape my sister of what Mother wanted to leave to her!
I am utterly disgusted with her. Disgusted.
I was putting the finishing touches on an email to her, a very nice, polite, careful proposal about how to settle it fairly (yet another one). Then I got my email from the lawyer. I'm rethinking nice polite and careful. I have another letter, but it is sure to sever the ties forever.
Y'know what?
I'm not sure I really care.
Labels: estate nonsense, things that piss me off
Non-Responsive
Answering machine updates:
- The machine that was up at my old house, the one with all of Ron's old messages through the years and my Mother's messages, is safe. It was unplugged for well over an hour and it preserved everything.
- The machine my parents used that has my Dad's greeting is safe.
Note that both of those are little cheapo Sprint™ brand machines I bought at Meijer.- The machine I bought to use at my parents' house after Dad died (so I could preserve his message but stop freaking out everyone who called) is the one that commited suicide.
Note that it is a little cheapo GE brand machine that I bought at WalMart and actually thought was nicer than the Sprint machines.I just got off the phone with tech support.
Frustrating. Apparently this has never happened in the entire history of the company. Couple this with a bit of a language barrier and you can understand my irritation. (I'm not being critical here, it's just that usually I'm good at deciphering accents but this guy's was beyond awful, and I get the feeling his grasp of English is limited to the words on the tech support script. Attempts to veer away from the script caused him great confusion.)
He said "I'm sorry ma'am but if you unplugged the machine for longer than ten minutes, it will reset the machine and—""But I didn't do that. All I did was move the adaptor from one plug on the power strip to another. Unplug, plug."Silence.
"Yes, but ma'am but if you unplugged the machine for longer than ten minutes, it will reset the machine and you will lose all of your settings, I'm sorry? Is it under warranty?"Oh boy.
"I don't know.""Was the machine purchased within the last year?""Sometime in 2006, maybe in the fall, but I couldn't tell you exactly when and I damn sure couldn't tell ya where the receipt went."More silence.
"You purchased last fall?""Maybe. But if it was only unplugged for a half second, why is this happening?"Then he tells me to unplug it from the wall and the phone, wait ten minutes, then plug it back in. Then try to record a new outgoing message blah blah blah.
"So basically if I do that, I'll lose everything?""Yes ma'am I'm sorry. This model unfortunately has no battery backup and may lose data in the event of a power outage.""But that's wrong—we've had a couple of power outages this year and the machine has been fine. All the messages were still there." Y'know. Being that it's been digitally inscribed on a computer mini-hard drive chip somewhere and not dependent on a battery. Like the Sprint machines, which also have no battery backup and somehow managed to survive hellacious storms last year, lots of power outages and even transportation from one city to the next one a half hour away with a 45-minute pitstop at Barnes & Noble."Oh...""So in theory, if it wasn't unplugged for more than ten minutes, it should work fine and all my messages or settings and so on should still be there?""Yes ma'am.""OK... so why isn't it working? When I plugged it back in, immediately after unplugging it, the window displayed a solid number 8 and the buttons became unresponsive. No response when I push any button. Nothing happens. Why is that?" (I felt like following with
and the machine is fixed and dilated...)
"A solid eight?""Yes. A solid eight. I had like 30-some messages on that machine (
so it would be flashing 3, then 3, then the dash)
but it's just a solid, non-flashing number 8. What does that mean?""And you are unable to record a new message?""Yes. (No?) When I push a button, NOTHING happens. Nothing at all.""I'm sorry ma'am I don't know why this is. The machine may be defective and need to be replaced. If it is still under warranty, we can replace it for you."I said carefully (realizing it would go faster if I stuck to the script),
"if I want to move the machine in the future, is there any procedure I should follow to ensure that my settings are preserved?""I'm sorry ma'am, no, there are no other procedures. The machine should have worked normally if the power was removed for less than ten minutes. The machine may be defective and need to be replaced."
Yeah, I got that part. You're damned straight it's being replaced.
But NOT with another one just like it. Thanks but NO THANKS. I let him know this, too. Said that I need to trust that my machine will still work following power outages or random relocation.
Sprint, you have won my heart and my undying customer loyalty because so far, you've lovingly preserved my most precious messages, through thunderstorms, power outages, moving, and cats with wayward paws. May that hold true in the future as well.
Labels: things that piss me off, whines and rants
Nuisances
Sometime this afternoon, I was sitting on the floor sorting one of my boxes of papers (old bills and stuff that were haphazardly thrown into a box "to be sorted later"). Piles were growing—some in box lids, others beside the lids, a couple in my lap.
Cell phone rings.
With great effort, because of the necessity of relocating the lap papers, I got up off the floor to see who it was.
RESTRICTED.Hmmm.
If it's AllSmell, there's usually a 1-800 number showing. Or it says AllSmell Customer Service.
Could be Ron, calling from his new cell.
Curious, I answer: "Hallo?"
Brief moment of silence followed by that connecting sound.
Female voice mumbles to someone.
OK, I think,
it's a telemarketer? More background noise.
Wait... it sounds like my friend D who rarely calls. I'm about to say "Hey, D—" when the voice becomes intelligible.
FV: "What are YOU doing today?"
Me: (politely) "Who's this?"
FV: (repeats) "What are YOU doing today?"
Me: (less politely) "Um, who IS this?"
FV: (nearly identical to earlier) "What are you DOING today?"
Me: (irritated now) "Who IS this?!?"
FV: (giggles) "What are YOU doing today?"
Me: (snottily) "Hanging up on YOU!" *click*
I mean, WTF? What the eff
was that? If you're my friend, you'll tell me who you are. If you're a telemarketer, you'll tell me who you are. If you're a bill collector, you'll tell me who you are.
So who the F
WERE you?
Like I have time for that kind of bull. And there's no way to get their number and pester them back.
Oooooogggh! What a nuisance.
Labels: things that piss me off
GRRRRRR
OK, it was only on two posts. But if it happens again, I will be forced to get out the voodoo doll.
Someone left 20,000-mile-long ANONYMOUS comments on two of my posts all about how I'm condemned and going to hell so I should visit their website.
I have my ways of researching. Before deleting them—believe it or not, comments that were twice as long as MY longest diatribe—I lovingly paid the spamments forward to the webhost, the owners of the domain name, their tech support and their "abuse" email.
So. For the moment, I'll leave the comments as is. But if I get spammented again, I'll have no choice but to require moderation.
Dirty rotten filthy stinking spammenters. They should all rot in Hell.
Labels: breaking news, things that piss me off
New Beginning
How painful was it to frog eight inches of carefully-constructed stranded colorwork?
Indescribable. Plus I was mad as hell at myself for doing what I always do—forging on, not really
reading the instructions and advisements to carry the strands
loosely lest the work be too tight nor the admonishments that too-loose stitches can be tightened later.
I ripped back all the way to the ribbing. SAD.
I looked at my needles expecting to see that this here idiot had been knitting on 0's.
What do you MEAN, these are 2's? And it was THAT TIGHT?!? Well, then... Gawdeee, should I be on 4's? Does Addi even make Turbos in 4's? *grumble*
I re-knit the first four rows of colorwork l-o-o-s-e-l-y.
Then I put it down and went to bed.
Then I had nightmares of being strangled by too-tight knitting with visions of vicious Addi's dancing snakelike around me.
Right now I'm contemplating which pattern will be suitable for the Araucania and whether I should set aside the stranded colorwork, cast on the Araucania, work on the CPH for a change, or dig out the Traveler's Socks that got lost in the shuffle. Or fix the horrendous oversight on size on my niece's Christmas Socks (2006—too short for her large feet). Or try to finish last year's Christmas scarves for my nephews-in-law. I procrastinate. Can you tell?
Or maybe I should take up stunt flying or some other hobby with less risk involved.
Labels: sockaholism, things that piss me off, whines and rants, WIP
Missed It
Well, by golly, I missed Tuesday Insaknitty—Insanknitty—In—how the heck is that spelled, anyway?
My facial started late due to a mishap in the facial room at the salon involving a lit candle and a box of Kleenex. Did you know that Kleenex is extremely flammable? Neither did I. Neither did my poor facialist. Luckily we caught it just before it got to the curtain. Trial by fire, whoo boy! After she cleaned that up and aired out the room, it was down to business. My face feels and looks great if I do say so myself. But it put me off schedule. And traffic in Toledo was terrible today. Lots of idiots pulling out in front of me. One complete asshat in an SUV was in the lefthand lane at the light. I was on the right. We were both stopped by the red light. The green arrow came up—for the ones in MY lane to turn right if they chose.
Asshat actually blew through the light and turned!!! Right in front of me!!! A right-hand turn from the left-most lane!!!!!! Good thing I wasn't turning or I would be a squashed puppy.
Ass! Hat!
Then I got some news today I did not ever want to hear. Brace yourselves.
Tommy Hilfiger is no longer available in stores, according to the kind folks at Elder-Beerman and Dillards. AGGGGGHHH! This pains me greatly, as my very favorite jeans (Tommy's Boyfriend jeans) have developed holes in a most unsightly place. I will be sitting cross-legged from now on if I wear them in public again. I'd gone to E-B for a replacement pair only to hear this news. *sob* Nothing in their stock fit me well enough or looked nice on, so I changed course and went to Kohl's. This was not on the list of To-Do's. This was, however, on the way to another To-Do (return unopened music software I'd purchased last week).
Kohl's was having a sale, how thoughtful of them. I'm amazed. I found THREE pair(s) of jeans that fit, look nice, and are comfy. And they were on sale. Yay! This is good, because there will be events upcoming for which new jeans will be required. Then it was on to the music store to return the software. What happened was that I had purchased a lesser version of it at one store, not realizing it was not the most
current version despite what I was told. (Big Box Guitar Store. Hate it.) Happened to call Old Haunt guitar store to inquire and confirm this, and found out the truth. Headed over to Old Haunt to buy current version of more expensive software. (Why I didn't just go to Old Haunt in the first place was because I'm "known" around there, haven't been there in over a year, and wasn't in the mood to share "whatcha been dooin'" stories that day.) Got a discount. :-) So today I attempted to return lesser software to BBGS.
Entered store. Waited an interminably long time for the Receipt Police to acknowledge my presence at the door. They must frisk you coming and going, you know. Wouldn't want a guitar pick to escape unpurchased.
Did you know that anything returned to BBGS before the ten day period cannot be refunded? You must return it precisely between Day 10 and Day 14. Excuse me while I sneeze (
*bullshit*) —ah, that's better. Because I'd paid with a check, I would get a check in return. IF I returned it after Day 10. Make another special trip up to Toledo to return it after Day 10. The other option was to get a credit account for stuff in the store. I asked if I could get a refund on that later. I was told the guy was pretty sure I could.
I said "OK. Would you please confirm that before we process it?"
"Sure", says the guy. "I'm pretty sure they'll do it."
*ahem*. Pretty sure? Sorry, not good enough. Before I sign over the rights to my money, I wanna be SURE, not
pretty sure, that I'll be able to get it back in greenbacks when I want it, not take it in guitar picks and strings because I have no choice.
One more time.
"Yes, but I'd like to have that confirmed as an absolute, please, before processing it. If you wouldn't mind." *big smile, bat eyelashes*
Guy looks nonplussed. Blinks. Picks up phone. Dials number. Asks question. It's confirmed. Thank you, go ahead and process it. Wait an interminable amount of time for a receipt.
Then head over to Target because my toilet paper is on sale (hey, ya can't beat a deal where you get two 12-packs for $12 bucks, right?).
Then darnit I was on E, so off to the gas station. Well, by this time it was after 7:30 and I was starving. I resigned myself to a knitless night and headed for home. So, here I am. I wonder what juicy news I missed tonight? Sadly I am all out of juicy news for the time being. Hopefully that will change. Soon.
Labels: breaking news, knit night, music, nothing important, things that piss me off, whines and rants
Stupid Coffee
Dang it.
I drank the last sip of my usual two cups of morning coffee about two minutes before they announced the university closing.
I'm exhausted but
WIDE
Awake.
Labels: college life, things that piss me off
"Temporarily Working" Cable Company
Apparently, sounding off helps. I must have barked loud enough for them to hear me all the way up in the Ivory Towers of TimeWarner™, because a MIRACLE has occurred.
Tonight I turned on my TV after returning from a long day of classes. What a day. Difficulty finding parking (again), missed Law, made it to Econ, suffered another inhumane quiz over stuff we just went over Friday and barely know, knocked over the pins in surface design (all over the floor, 100's of them), out of quarters, smallest bill was a five... a Jelly Side Down kind of day in a way (following a Jelly Side Down Week last week).
OH. The TV. Yeah.
Well, I flipped over to 341 (Showtime™) figuring that a glance at the silent, black screen would add fuel to my simmering rage—
And the channel was back.
HOT DIGGITY!!!
And The L Word® replay was on at midnight.
PROBLEM RESOLVED!
Happy dance™.
In my email were two responses from TimeWarner™ and one from ShowTime™.
The first TW email said they'd try to get someone scheduled sooner.
The second TW email said they had someone available today (meaning Monday) and that someone over 18 had to be there, could I provide a cell number.
The ShowTime™ email said to their knowledge, they make all of their channels available and could I provide my city state zip so they could investigate further.
I'm glad ShowTime™ thought to respond. I can see them calling TW to inquire as to why their channels weren't being broadcast.
As for TW, either they didn't read my rant very carefully or they didn't look at the calendar because I told them I'm only available for service calls on Tuesday Thursday or Friday due to my schedule and today (yesterday) was Monday. I don't know if they went ahead and sent someone out and they were able to fix it on the outside, or if it's a miracle, but it's fixed, and I watched The L Word®, and that is ALL that matters.
Yay.
Just had a thought. Maybe the CATS messed up something behind the entertainment center. Maybe they were trying to dial in the Cat Entertainment Channel and accidentally screwed up the signal. They looked a bit shifty and worn out when I got home. Like they'd spent the day trying to undo what they done did after seeing Momcat turn variegated purple and red last night.
Hmmm.
Labels: things that piss me off
Unfortunately, I Hate Time Worthless Cable Company
My guilty pleasure at the end (beginning?) of every week is watching Desperate Housewives (on regular cable) followed by
The L Word (on Showtime). I begrudgingly pay for the premium channel for one show and one show only. It's just that good.
Imagine how I felt tonight when I flipped over during a DH commercial break to discover that Showtime, ShowtimeToo, ShowtimeHD, ShowtimeBeyond, and ShowCase were all showing a BLACK screen with no sound! Now the funny thing is, ShowExtreme, ShowNext, ShowWomen, and ShowFamily were coming in just FINE. Even ShowtimeOnDemand would come in if I were willing to add the $6.95/month service to my cable programming.
Naturally, The L Word is on Showtime or ShowtimeHD. The black ones.
I called TimeWorthless Cable. Five minutes of on-hold. Twenty minutes of trying to reboot the box with no successful changes and the Customer Service Gal (SCG) sending signals to try to jumpstart it.
I gave up. There would be no L for me tonight. Thankfully, it replays several times throughout the week and I could catch it later.
Or could I?
I asked CSG with a sigh "so, when can the technician show up?" figuring mid-week at the latest and I'd be back in business.
CSG: "The soonest we can have someone out is the 27th."
Long pause while my brain tries to figure out what's wrong with that date. "I'm sorry—what date?"
"The 27th."
Calculate... today is the 11th.
MOTHERF—you mean to tell me I have to wait SIXTEEN DAYS for a service guy to show up, wiggle some cords and get my box fixed?!?
"Unfortunately, that's the soonest we have a technician available."
I stated that the 27th was three weeks away.
She said, "yes, unfortunately, that's the soonest we have a technician available."
I said, "I'm sorry, but that is ABSOLUTELY unacceptable."
"Unfortunately, that's the soonest we have a technician available."
I replied, "I am paying nearly $90 per month for your service.
Certainly you can do better than that."
"Unfortunately, that's the soonest we have a technician available."
I told her "well then, I suppose you can give me free Showtime for a month, then."
She said she could credit me for the time lost until the service call.
I said "for as much as I'm paying you, I think you can do better than that. I mean, three weeks for a service call is completely ridiculous." I told her when I was with Local Cable Company, the service was fantastic: answered the phone promptly, had a service guy out the next day, and extended customer satisfaction. Then I said (snidely) "I suppose your call center is in Florida, isn't it."
She said "No. It's in Zanesville (Ohio)".
OK. According to TimeWorthless' website, there are
10 Promises They Make to Us. Of those 10, two of them are:
- Friendly, LOCAL customer service 24/7, and
- Appointment windows available seven days a week
Zanesville may be in the same STATE as me, but it is definitely NOT anywhere near "local". Unless your definition of local is within a five-state region/300 miles.
As for appointment windows, they must mean actual physical windows at their office building in Manhattan or California or wherever the F they are. When I see seven days a week, I'm thinking WITHIN those seven days. Not three times those seven days.
Again I told her I found it absolutely unacceptable that I would have to wait three weeks—nearly an entire MONTH, mind you—to have my cable issue resolved. I let it be known in no uncertain terms that I was very upset that I had paid for this premium channel specifically for this ONE show, and that I would now be missing THREE full episodes of said show due to their lack of technical help and that it wasn't like I could catch it in reruns because it only replays during the week of the initial broadcast of the new show—I would have to watch the remainder of the season clueless as to what happened in those three lost episodes, AND I would have to wait until six or more months from now to view them either when ShowTime rebroadcast the season to gear up for the 2008 season, or until they came out on DVD. Meaning I'm wasting my money, and I am P.I.S.S.E.D.
"I'm sorry. Unfortunately, that's the soonest we have a technician available."
Unfortunately, I don't know that I feel like paying my bill anymore.
On their corporate website, their mission statement appears:
Our Mission
To create the best possible customer experience by delivering quality in-home entertainment, information and communications with superior customer care.
Unfortunately, in my case, they have failed miserably.
Labels: things that piss me off
