Happy Thanksgiving, Yeah, I Still Exist

Apparently I don't knit enough lately to be blogging about it.

I'm just popping in to wish my long-lost readers (if you're still out there) a very Happy Thanksgiving, and Merry Impending Christmas. Mine was spent with friends and it was good. Though three of us were incredibly worn out from lack of sleep, as the night before one of us had been performing with his cover tune band, and the other two of us had been manning video cameras shooting footage that might become a promo video to help the band get better gigs.

If you would, please send me some major positive financial juju and say a prayer for some immediate financial miracles. You'd think with the closing of the Estate that things would have turned around. Not so much.
Read more »

Labels: breaking news

posted by Jeanne @ 10:34 PM 2 comments

VOTE FOR ME and I Could Win $1,000!

Well, it's been awhile, eh? Sorry about that. Life, ya know? Anyway... I need the help of my cyberfriends (some of whom may have gotten the text of this post in an email already).

I've submitted an entry to a contest to be the voice on the theme song for the Play Station video game Assassin's Creed Revelations. The contest provided a backing track, to which entrants create a melody line and then record their voice singing it.

The prize at stake, besides being The Voice of the game, is $1,000.

My goal is to make it into the Top 20 and stay there until final voting ends on September 19th. From the Top 20, the judges will choose the winner.

Please help me achieve this goal by visiting the link below and clicking the "Like" button (the thumbs up icon). Visit as many times as you are allowed, and vote often! You can also vote via Facebook, by visiting my profile and finding my status posts (which I will be updating several times a day to remind you). Please pass this along to everyone you know! Post it on your blog, get the word out.

And THANK YOU!!!

http://www.ujam.com/songs/bRxzHQN9ty4V



In other news... there really isn't any other news. :-) Carry on...

Labels: assassin's creed contest, breaking news

posted by Jeanne @ 9:50 PM 0 comments

Tuesday / June Update

Poor abandoned little blog. Facelessbook has taken over.

OK, first a memorial mention, then a brief update of what I'm up to lately.

Memorial Mention
Today marks five years since my father passed. It's been hard not to go back in time and focus on where I was five years ago, and what I was doing. Difficult to not allow myself to think, "at this time five years ago, it was the last time the three of us (me, Mom, Dad) were together and alive". It's a challenge to avoid replaying those final moments in my mind, the moments when Dad, whose full dentures had been removed, kept hollering at me, and I heard "I'm trying, I'm trying", something he'd often bark at Mother when she got impatient but what he was saying now was "I'm dying, I'm dying". It's only after the fact that I came to understand my saying to him, "I know, Dad, I know you're trying, it's OK" was anything but encouraging.

It's so hard to avoid thinking of it that I came up with an exercise. Every time my brain brings me back to "five years ago today" thinking, I say, "Yes. And TEN years ago today, let's see, that was 2001, I was..." and I think about what I was doing 10 years ago, 15, 20, and so on. It took me all the way back to 1981 before my brain stopped thrusting it in my face. 1981—the year I graduated high school. Gah! Thirty years! Seriously?

So that's today. Five years ago, the world lost my Dad. Insignificant to most, but by far the most profound thing that ever happened in my life. There's something significant about the five-year mark, though. It feels like it's really time to let this go. It's time to let go of the legacy loyalties that I realized I've been carrying on behalf of them. What do I mean?

Legacy Loyalties and Playing the Wrong Roles
Take my Dad's University affiliation. The loyalty to it was HIS, not mine. I was a student there, and alumni, but I don't owe my entire livelihood and family's well-being to it. Not like Dad did. The U was his "career family", not mine. And I am under no obligation to follow in his footsteps, nor am I obligated to "fill in" for his absence and show up under his name. These entities don't require posthumous stand-ins. My parents fulfilled their obligations, all of which ended when they died.

So I do not need to join their church unless it's the church (and religion) that suits ME. I don't need to live in this house or neighborhood unless it's the house and neighborhood that suits ME. Nobody is expecting me to BE "Dad" (or "Mom")—not my family members, not the community; unless these are the life roles that suit ME.

This is a huge revelation for me. Because I have been sort of trying to carry on the traditions, roles, legacies and loyalties left to me by my parents, and trying to pick up MY life where I left off when the whole mess began back in December 2005.

The irony of that is, what I was debating doing in December 2005 CAME from legacy loyalty. It wasn't even a true path for me. ADD aside, I've been trying to play the wrong roles and ignoring my own. When I sat down and asked myself how I felt if I weren't doing a lot of these legacy things, I was shocked. I felt relief. I felt like an enormous weight had been lifted. And I realized that there are only two areas that really feel like they are "mine"—well, there are three but only the first two burn with profound passion within me.

Music is number one.

Horses are number two.

(The third is fibers, if anyone's asking. I love my fibery arts, but I don't burn with unrelenting passion for them, that "If I don't get to _____ I am going to have to take someone out!!!" feeling.)

Horses are a bit legacy, only because my Dad grew up around them; my Grandpa was a cowboy for awhile; and my niece was horse crazy in her teens and early adulthood. But my bent of horsemanship (the whole Parelli "communicate with your horse like you're a horse" thing) takes me in an entirely different direction than any of them. It alleviates the legacy. I'm also way more intense about it than any of them were.

Music, however, is all mine. Nobody in my family can or could really carry a tune in a bucket without help—except me.

So. It would seem that the five-year mark is a great point in time to just let go of the legacy roles, and streamline it down to MY roles. It's been long enough, this time of living in their shadows.


What I've Been Up To:

• No good (hah, just kidding)
• Did some temping; for a job, it wasn't half bad. Didn't evolve into permanent, though.
• Helping a new horse brought in by a boarder who was so unmanageable that even the barn manager didn't want to deal with him. I diagnosed him as Right-Brained Extrovert, which is a very misunderstood horsenality, and spent several hours playing with him until I gained his trust and then I was able to communicate with him effectively. RBE's are scared, unconfident, non-trusting horses whose initial reaction is run first, think later. He also exhibits stallion behaviors (such as mounting everything equine in sight) though supposedly he's gelded; could be proud-cut (meaning the vet didn't get it all the first time) or it could be extreme dominance behavior that will go away once he's more confident. Time will tell, and I have my summer project.
• Picking out a new hard drive for the big Mac so I can resume my recording endeavors (and be able to play FarmVille in real time without lag). It's been out of commission since December (I'm writing on my ancient but trusty 2002 Mac PowerBook G4), despite new memory chips it was giving "shared lib" errors, which means "hard drive failure". New hard drive = cheaper than new mac (which would also mean new operating system which means new software...) so, that's today's mission.
• Other musical possibilities still in development, which I will fill in later once I know how it all pans out.

And that's the details. Have a lovely June.

Labels: breaking news, family time, horses, job

posted by Jeanne @ 2:48 PM 1 comments

Happy Holidays and an Update

Ah, if only there really were a Santa. If there were, I could reasonably expect to find a brand-new MacBook Pro with all the software upgrades sitting under my cat tree on Christmas morning (the cat tree being the only tree available in the house at the moment). But as I've been told since achieving adulthood, Santa is a marketing myth created by Coca-Cola, and unless I have:

• a well-off significant other
• a well-off parent
• well-off friends with extreme generosity
  
• a flourishing bank account and the selfishness to spend it all on myself

there is no reason to expect the arrival of said MBP on Saturday.

That said, the G5 is still in the Mac Hospital and I'm typing this on my geriatric (but greatly appreciated) G4 laptop that is still running OSX Panther. Hey. At least I'm internetically connected. I'll take that at this point.

Without boring you with too many details, the problem in the G5 seems to be related not to the RAM itself but to the MuthaBoard. We are hoping this is wrong. We are hoping that the fact that the brand-new RAM failed upon installation is, in fact, a bizarre fluke wrought by that fiendish Mercury Retrograde, which is known to wreak havoc upon communication, electronic devices, and travel and is with us until the 30th.

(The effects actually last a few days longer, meaning if you can avoid traveling, communicating, signing contracts or buying expensive jewelry and electronics until January 5th, you'll be much happier with the results. Now is a good time to research and finish up old business. I took a chance that "replacing RAM" would be "old business", not "repairing expensive equipment", since I'm swapping out one module for another rather than adding more. I'm still counting on that twist to work in my favor.)

So. The laptop is keeping me connected, and I've survived my Farm Games Intervention (can't play, the OS isn't high enough to handle the most recent Flash Player upgrade). I can upgrade the OS on the laptop, but... I'm trying to hold off until the 5th. Just to be on the safe side. At this point, if it ain't broke and still works sorta, might as well not touch it.

This is an historic holiday for me. It's the fifth year sans parents. But that's not the historic part.

It's the first time in my entire life history that Christmas has been canceled.

The Niece At Whose House The Festivities Occur contracted The Purge courtesy of her little germ magnets. The whole family was brought down by the beast, apparently, but N@WHTFO had it affect her breathing (asthma), and spent Monday evening in the ER. It was touch and go for a while as far as whether there would be a Christmas—she's "fine", it's "just" the flu which IHHO was far better than what she'd anticipated (pneumonia)—but due to the fact that neither I nor my other niece and her husband are protected against The Purge, having avoided flu shots at all costs, and the fact that N@WHTFO doesn't feel up to it, we're postponing.

Until mid-January. And weather in SW PA dependent, that may be moved up to Easter.

So I am, for the first time EVER, spending the most important, biggest, family-centric holiday of the year...

Alone.

Without pwesents.

And you know what? It's OK. In fact, it feels like it's something I need to experience. (And it's not like I'm missing out; I was told that Sister, who lives next door to N@WHTFO, isn't even going over there. The plan is that Sister will drop off a load of scalloped potatoes on N@WHTFO's front porch, and N@WHTFO will shove a plate of ham out the front door. While both hold their breath and turn their faces away. Yeah, I think I'll be OK missing that.)

If you've been hovering around this blog for any length of time, you're aware of my ambiguity when it comes to holidays and the remaining family members. It's gotten better; still, I feel like I'm being given the chance to really see what this holiday means to ME, without all the distractions of family and good cheer. I've never taken the opportunity to do that. I've always accepted the defaults, going where Mom and Dad decided we were going, participating in the required/expected activities. This is my chance to test their validity for MY life.

Which is why, although several dear friends have offered to take me in this Christmas and invited me to join in their festivities, I've opted out. I'm grateful that they care enough to open their hearts and homes to me; yet, something inside says, "this would be yet another distraction". There's also the possibility that bearing second-hand witness to their celebration may hurt more than help. It can be hard to watch everyone else having fun as planned, when you're sort of an add-on. Even a welcome one.

Besides. I'll have the warmth of that $168 million dollar lottery jackpot win to keep me warm. (I have my ticket for tomorrow night, and I've already planned to win the Christmas Eve draw. Merry Christmas to me.)

So I send you all my most heartfelt Christmas wishes for a wonderful holiday with your families and friends, and I'll catch up with you in the brand-spankin' new year if not before.

Peace out. :-)

Labels: breaking news, family time, Xmas

posted by Jeanne @ 8:59 PM 2 comments

I Should Never Get Married

Because I'm horrible at remembering my own anniversaries.

Blogiversaries, that is.

I can remember the birthdays of boyfriends long past. I can even remember the birthdays of kittens we've had—and the tally of cats that have passed through my life so far is over two dozen. That's a lot of birthdays. I know the day I bought my first horse (Feb 5, 2001), my second horse (October 1, 2002), and my third horse (May 11, 2005). I even remember the day I fell off of first horse and sprained my back (May 12, 2001), the day I received my Parelli Level One kit (May 24, 2002), and the days I injured my knees (November 16, 2005 and February 16, 2007).

But my blogiversary?

Fuggheddaboudid.

It was September 11, 2006. Last time I remembered IN September, at least. There was a chance of redemption. What is this world coming to, that I'm a whole month late?

My apologies, dear Blog. I have not been holding up my end of our relationship.

Then again, I've had little to blog about, unless you want to hear about how much money I made in FarmTown, or about the rotting subfloor in the deck room caused by letting the washer left behind by my short-term roommate sit out there for three years, silently leaking little bits of water I didn't know was still in the washer until it was moved out of the deck room to go live with my friend whose washer and dryer committed washer/dryercide this summer. Or I could tell you about the horrendous heat and humidity we had in August that curtailed my barn visits, or the month I spent attempting to de-hoarderize the house for my sister's visit which contributed to the curtailing (haven't seen the horse in two months!).

Well, I suppose I could tell you that the visit went surprisingly well, given our history, and it appears that a new chapter between us is being written. Of course, I take everything with pounds of salt and always keep my eyes open, but so far, so good, knock (on unrotted) wood.

Other than that, and finally realizing my life's purpose, not much has happened around these parts worth blogging about. Which ain't always a bad thing.

Labels: breaking news, writing

posted by Jeanne @ 4:40 PM 1 comments

Yep, Still Alive, Posting for a Cause

OK. There's this kid. His name is Hunter. He's six years old. I don't know him, but one of my blogger friends does, and he's really sick. He has leukemia.

My blogger friend is generously selling off all but three of her fiber-related books to gather donations to help Hunter's family. She's asking us to re-post to gain more attention; after all, we're three degrees separated from this issue.

So. Every day, she's posting books for sale on her blog. She has some pretty tasty offerings for those of us who sew, knit and/or crochet. So go visit, and help Hunter and his family get through this. There is more information on her blog, so I'll stop here lest I become redundant.

Rowena's Blog to Help Hunter

In other news, there hasn't been much knitting taking place. June and July flew by, didn't they? Let's bullet point this:

• I traveled a bit—went to Columbus, OH for the Parelli Celebration to indulge in natural horsemanship for two days; finally got to PA to visit my sister and niece in July (it was a good trip)
• Had a birthday
• Rode my horse a few times
• Discovered True Blood at the beginning of Season Three and spent many a night catching up on two full seasons. Apparently I among the minority, because I find Sam the Shapeshifter far more lust-inducing than either of the vampires. They are just too cold and dead for my tastes. Besides, who can resist a boyfriend you could pet and take to the dog park?
  
• Just got the car back from the shop—it had developed a sound on the way home from PA, it sounded like a Honda motorcycle was also running in the engine. Turns out it was a rogue wheel bearing gone bad (oh, to see the late-night video commercials for that!). They took it apart and the brake pads disintegrated because they were so thin. So I had an unexpected brake job and wheel bearing replacement done. Apparently the wheel bearing whine was a blessing in disguise, as I was mere moments away from having a catastrophic brake failure.
  
• Looks like I will be shoveling a LOT of manure this month, as the brake job ate in to my horse money
• Worked a few temp jobs, better pay as of late, but nothing permanent yet
• Took in the Psychedelic 60s: Posters from the Rock Era exhibit at the Toledo Museum of Art—it was mind-blowing, phenomenal, and is worth the trip if you're nearby. It goes through September 12th so there is still time.
  
• Have had some major MAJOR revelations that have cemented some questions for me, and I think I'm really ready to declare who and what I am and am doing with the remainder of my life in my post-parental volume. Almost ready. Ready inside, not yet ready to go fully public.

And that's the scoop. Now, go visit Rowena, check out the books, and do what you can to help a kid have a future. Peace out.

Oh. One last thing. This is aimed at the spambloggers. If you post a comment on my blog that reads something along the lines of "Great blog! Very inspirnig", then ask me to link to your blog, and I visit your blog and find nothing but links to illegal downloads or articles teaching visitors how to spam people's blogs, I will delete your comment. I might also send you an email along the lines of "cease and desist" and "you are scum and should be ashamed of yourself". Because we don't go for that here at Knitty Banter. This is a friendly, non-consumerist blog where we discuss life and fibers. If you're not down with that, please take your canned processed meat elsewhere. Thanks.

Labels: breaking news

posted by Jeanne @ 3:49 PM 0 comments

It Might Be Winter

Which explains the lack of posts. There isn't a lot happening around these parts, except for snow, snow, and did I mention snow?

So let's see...

Cats: improving/same. All urinary issues cleared up; Tyler, to my surprise, fell in love with the dog crate I bought (on clearance!) for his containment during his incontinent moments. He sat in it at will with the door wide open. Odd.

Zander is now on thyroid meds. Does not appear to be having any effect whatsoever.

Horses: fine, as far as I know. This is why we board.

Driveway: impassable (again).

Shoulder: unusable due to strained muscle from Monday's removal of Friday's snowfall in preparation for Tuesday's obliteration.

Sleep: interrupted (see "shoulder" above).

Reading: caught up on. Most recently read the entire series to date of Maggie Sefton's Knitting Mysteries (they get better with each book); "Madness" by Marya Hornbacher, a memoir about her life with bipolar disorder which was absolutely riveting; and am currently reading "Death By Darjeeling" by Laura Childs (first mystery from a series set in a tea shop in South Carolina—it fascinates me that she can describe a setting with such exquisite detail that within two sentences you are THERE).

There is knitting. It is baby-oriented. The barn manager is having twins in April, one of each. So I am knitting sweaters and crocheting bibs like mad.

TV: whatever is on. Project Runway. Hoarders. Paranormal State. DH, Grey's, Being Erica. So thankful for the movie package: on Sunday I watched "Coraline" (which, IMHO is NSFKids!!! Good grief!) followed by "Temple Grandin" (about the autistic woman who became a leading animal behavior researcher and autism advocate). Excellent movies, both.

Well, shoulder=sore and stomach=hungry, so... see you in the spring. Stay warm

Labels: breaking news, cats, WIP

posted by Jeanne @ 7:43 PM 2 comments

NOAnn's Fabric!!!

Eesh! It is getting harder and harder to add fiber to my diet!

First, Fiberworks closed (well, that was what, two years ago? But they were major, because they had LOOMS and weaving stuff nobody else had, and a workroom for teaching yarn dyeing). Then the Fibers program at BGSU was eliminated.

Now this.

The JoAnn Fabrics in BG is being liquidated and is closing January 24, 2010.

OK. I know we have several awesome LYS's in the Greater Toledo Area. And there are JoAnn's and other fabric stores in Toledo. And Findlay. And The Little House in Clyde deals in weaving/spinning stuff.

But all of that requires a DRIVE.

I live in a metropolitan community. We have a good-sized University and a mall.

BUT WE WILL HAVE NO YARN OR FABRIC STORE IN TOWN.

Unless you count H*bby L*bby. (Sorry. I don't do trigonometry. Therefore I can't count it. Get it? Ha.) Even W*l M*art stopped carrying fabric and yarn, not that it was GOOD yarn. "Better Acrylics".

I'm quite bothered about the whole thing.

Now. I suppose I could whine and rant some more about it and see it as bad.

Or, I could look at this as an opportunity.

Question is... what kind of opportunity is this... and... do I have the wherewithal and the resources to pursue it?

Thinking out loud here...

Labels: breaking news

posted by Jeanne @ 10:17 PM 2 comments

Posting to Kill Time

As I wait for my Kung Pao Stir Fry to be "ready" to serve in Café World over there in FacelessBook, I thought I'd write a quick post about the good news/bad news University situation I heard about this week. (If you keep up with Faceless Book, you might have already seen my status updates.)

Bad news first. The Fibers program in the Fine Arts Department no longer exists. Not sure which came first, but the professor is now Emeritus status, officially retired in Spring, and the courses have been eliminated from the curriculum. The equipment is still there—for now. There are a few students finishing up their Senior work this semester. What will happen to all the looms, dyeing equipment and yarn remains to be seen. I'm looking into it.

Good news next, following a little background info.

Back in the late 80s, I took some of the sewing and garment construction courses in the Home Ec Department when they had a Fashion Design major. I almost majored in it, but backed away in fear that I would never measure up (no pun) to the "real" designers. Silly me. The courses taught me to sew, alter patterns, and do flat-pattern design. My motivation for these courses was to learn to make my own stage clothes because I didn't like the generic, poorly-constructed spandex offerings in the stores, and I wanted to have a unique look.

I was signed up for the course that taught the draping method (as seen on Project Runway), but got distracted (probably by yet another band) and didn't follow through. I always regretted that, because one of my underlying goals has been to know enough to "be" a fashion designer even if I didn't major in it. This was revived a few years ago, when I thought the perfect MFA for me would be a combination of Fibers/Textile Design as Fine Art coupled with a solid Fashion Design/Merchandising background. Top it off with Entrepreneurship education, and IMHO, I'd be a force to be reckoned with.

Except... the University's Apparel-related department had eliminated the design portion (and all the related sewing/construction courses) and gone totally merchandising/marketing. Not what I wanted at all.

As recently as last year around this time, I'd contacted the department to ask about the Merchandising offerings, and figured it still probably wouldn't fit my plans.

So this week, I've been scouring the internet searching high and low for anything related to draping—a weekend clinic, a week-long workshop, a class in Michigan or within a reasonable distance in Ohio, a video, a good book... and then, on a crazy whim, I decided what the hey, I'll check out the University again, just to make sure.

Surprise.

Fashion Design is BACK! The course that sounds as if it will teach Draping techniques is being offered first summer session! The clincher might be the prerequisites. Thanks to modern technology and the recent overhaul of the course selection system, the HOEC 101 and 101 I took back in 1987 are not recognized, even though the course content (taught by the same teachers who are still there) sounds identical to AMPD 2510 (which used to be AMPD 251, which used to be AMID ####, which might have been... you get the idea).

I've put a call in to the head honcho over there to find out. I'll keep you posted; but mark my words. One way or another, I am IN THAT CLASS this summer (if it truly IS the class I think it is). Or some other draping class.

One fiber-related door closes, another opens. Oh, the Kung Pao dinged, it's done. See you later. If I'm not back this week, Happy Turkey Day.

Labels: breaking news, college life

posted by Jeanne @ 11:46 PM 2 comments

Why I'm Home and Not at Knit Night

It's because the cough is back. And since I'm still not sure if it's infectious or just dust/cat hair/vocal irritation, although I have the night off, I'm staying put.

Last Tuesday night, after pulling an impressive 2.2 CPH (calls per hour) at work despite feeling like garbage and having a rough voice, I decided I needed time off. The nice thing about temping is that you can do that. You can also, at this job, decide to not be on the schedule for a week and still have a job the week after.

So, I called my temp agency last Wednesday and had them remove me for this week (Mon, Tues, Fri, Sun).

I called them on Friday because I wasn't sure if I was supposed to go in or not (since the week runs Sun-Sat). Turns out the project was finished Wednesday night, and the company is shut down until the next survey project starts (which was supposed to be Monday). Which is cool for me, because it means I'm not "missing out" on work time anyway.

Turns out they weren't ready Monday either.

Could turn out that I didn't have to bother removing myself from the schedule after all--had I just left it alone, it would have worked out anyway.

However, I feel it's better to know I have the time off, rather than playing the odds. And I stood up for what I wanted for myself despite being terrified it would mean the end of my employment (despite the "flexibility" included). I did what was best for my voice and health.

This is a really important move for me: to stand up for myself despite the fear, rather than go along with it and be muttering under my failing voice about how resentful I am while feeling secretly vindicated when the company gives us the time off I denied myself.

My voice is recovering. I almost sound like a human being again.

I think I'm changing my availability to Thursdays instead of Tuesdays, and working a 4-8 that day instead of 4-9. That way I can have knit nights back, and be home in time for Grey's.

I'd really like to change my availability to "calling in on account of MegaMillions Jackpot Win", though.

So the first Coriolis is done. I'm a quarter through the second Coriolis (pre-heel) then I'm doing another Woven Ridge. This is monumental--two socks in one month! And I'm rearranging the offistudio so I can open up the loom.

The concept of clearing out the yarn stash first, however, has been deemed a procrastination attempt (by ME). Instead, I'm relocating the chaos from the space where the open loom will go to the space where the folded loom currently resides. Yep, that's right. All I'm doing is moving the mess out of my way. But if it means I can jump back into my craft, it's worth it. And I no longer have to kid myself thinking, "I'll just organize this THEN I'll be happily weaving away in my nice clean perfectly ordered offistudio".

I mean, really. Who are we kidding? LOL!

In other news, I've finally realized that my favorite books to read are How-To books. If you look at my shelves, that's what most of them are: How to quilt, knit, sew, design, spin, weave, dye, install tile, garden, make home furnishings, type fast, use internet software, record music in Cubase, notate music the Nashville way, play banjo and lap steel guitar, teach your cat to do tricks, communicate with your horse, attract money now using visualization... And wedged in between there are a few literary gems and a decent selection of Stephen King novels.

Interesting.

And a clue as to why I claim to love reading and love books themselves, but fail miserably at NaNoWriMo.

News flash: I am not a novelist.

If I were to write a book, it would likely be a How-To. Or a personal journal of my introspective journey through self-analysis. But, I have a blog for that.

Labels: breaking news, job, sockaholism

posted by Jeanne @ 5:55 PM 2 comments

Urgh. And an Update.

Urgh.

Apparently I let my free photobucket account go inactive, and all my image links are lost. So forgive the dust while I attempt to piece this back together. Maybe now is a good time to switch to the new Blogger layout?

Update.

There has been knitting.

There will be photos soon.

So far there is one of a pair of Woven Ridge socks and a half of a Coriolis. Both are patterns from Cat Bordhi's "New Pathways for Knitters". I got it for Christmas last year and it took me all this time to get enough courage up to read through it. Glad I did! REVOLUTIONIZED my sock knitting.

There has been no writing yet for NaNoWriMo. SIGH.

There has been much phone calling for the job. I pulled down a 2.0 CPH today (that is calls per hour), which rocks. My voice is getting stronger, thank God.

There has been very little riding due to odd weather patterns.

There has been a clock change all around the house. But you all knew that, as you did it, too.

That's all. For now.

Labels: breaking news, sockaholism

posted by Jeanne @ 11:11 PM 2 comments

News, News and News

Bad News: Last night I got so caught up in FarmVille on FaceBook that I left the corn on high and totally scorched the good Revere pan.

Good News: Today, I learned online how to fix the pan, and did. Looks better than new now, thanks to the boiling water and baking soda trick, followed by the boiling water and vinegar trick.

And the corn was fine, thanks.

In other news: the house is sold. The tax issues have been sorted and the parties in charge of looking into their ends of things and providing the results have been duly notified. All that's left to do is close the Estate.

Which we will do. Soon. I hope? (The other parties have been strangely absent, which I find odd considering how EAGER they were to get this process wrapped up.) I'm ready. Let's go. I gots plans for my life...

PS: Maybe one of these days I'll actually get back into knitting again.

PPS: I think my Blogiversary is this month.

PPPS: I'm all about the horse-training lately, and it's going well.

PPPPS: I think I just heard something digging and chewing in the attic right above this room—right near the heat vent. OMG. What is it? I yelled at it to stop, and told it to get out. All quiet now. OMG. Do I need an exterminator? It didn't sound small. What is it?!?

Labels: breaking news

posted by Jeanne @ 9:24 PM 3 comments

LEVEL TWO ONLINE PASS!!

WHOO-HOO!!! I just got confirmation from Parelli, Inc., via email regarding my recent Parelli Audition.

I've passed Level Two Online!

Only one more savvy to go (FreeStyle Riding), and that BLUE STRING is MINE!!!

*happy dancing all over the place, can't wait to tell my horse*

In other news, I interviewed with a temp agency, and not only am I up for the job I applied to, but my mixed bag of odd qualifications might be the perfect fit for a couple of creative positions they've been trying to fill for a LONG time.

You bet, I'm buying my lottery ticket today. ;-)

Labels: breaking news, horses, positive thinking

posted by Jeanne @ 3:48 PM 4 comments

Death By Chocolate

Man Dies After Falling Into Vat of Chocolate

And I'm surprised nobody has used the obvious headline (though I did).

Yes, my sense of humor is perverse at times. (I do feel for the man and his family, of course.)

So. Anybody else glued to the TV yesterday for the MJ Memorial? It was nicely done, I thought. Classy.

Progress report on my garden: I haz tomatoes and peppers. My six tomato plants all have at least one green 'mater on them, and my nine pepper plants are all producing. There will be some food this fall! The corn looks good. I planted nine little plants, and someone promptly munched down one of them. But it recovered! I can't even tell it was ever munched. They are growing nicely, though nowhere near as tall as what I pass on the way to the barn.

My grass is also growing nicely, heh.

That's all. Might have a stash sale this month, so stay tuned.

Labels: breaking news, nothing important

posted by Jeanne @ 3:39 PM 1 comments

Pull Up

Monday was my birthday. Whoo. I'm only owning up to 27. That was a good year.

It was a quiet celebration. A friend took me to Olive Garden (at my request) where I partook of the Grilled Steak Crustada with the four-cheese pasta, unlimited salad and breadsticks and Asiago-encrusted flatbread as seen on TV. I've been seeing the ads and just drooling.

I'm happy to say, it lived up to the hype. It tasted EXACTLY like I thought it would. YUMMY.

The soup (no leaves for me, remember?) was so filling I had leftovers of Crustada and pasta. Plus there was the Corona with Lime, and the after-dinner coffee. Their coffee is REALLY good, did you know that?

My sister blew my mind and sent a decent-sized check. Never saw that coming.

And I have a birthday coupon for a buy-one-get-one-free entree at Qdoba.

Birthdays rock.

I did not get the job I interviewed for a couple weeks ago. Oh, well. God has other plans. I applied in person at two places today, though. And there are more offerings in the paper (to which I've applied). I don't think it's time to apply for public assistance just yet or stand on the corner with a sign—something tells me SOMETHING is going to slip neatly into place IF I can stay focused on it, and ignore the discomfort that is trying to distract me.

If you've read Deepak Chopra, Wayne Dyer, Joe Vitale or the other Law of Attraction (LOA) gurus, you know what I'm talking about. That pre-manifestation energy shift that causes discomfort within us, and that exhibits as impatience, anxiety, doubt, fear, hopelessness, desperation?

Yeah. That. It's just the signal that the energy is shifting to make way for the manifestation of your outcome, but we misread it and redirect our thoughts away from the goal and onto the emotion that's coming up. Then we derail the manifestation.

That's why people say, "I set all these intentions and did countless affirmations, but this LOA Shiitake doesn't work." It works. But only when we figure out the trick to it.

I've figured out the trick.

Plug my ears and go "LALALA CAN'T HEAR YOU" to all the doubts and fears that try to rise up in me when I'm not paying attention, and stay focused on MY desired outcome.

I have two analogies. One is like breathing through labor pains, which I've never experienced, but I had bad enough cramps that I can relate. The other comes from personal experience.

When Wildflower was still alive, and I was still a bit nervous about riding balls-out fast, we used to go trail riding and whenever it got too fast, I'd panic and pull her up short. Such a tolerant horse, she just sighed and put up with me.

One time, I was out with a bunch of friends, and one wanted to break off and "cowboy" through the woods—go fast. I went with her. We got up to a canter. Then, gradually, we sped up until we were galloping—or cantering PDQ. Faster than I was used to.

This was the point where I'd normally get a thrill of panic and pull her up. But on this day, I didn't. I rode through the fear. I knew I was safe with her. So, I breathed deeply. I acknowledged the panic rising, the adrenaline rush. I kept breathing, focusing on my balance and staying in rhythm with her as she chugged along, hooves pounding the forest floor, wind buffeting my ears. At the peak moment when every fiber of my being was screaming out PULL UP PULL UP—

I pushed my hands forward so I wouldn't pull her up. It peaked—the adrenaline rush was almost more than I could stand to experience—

Then suddenly, that feeling was behind me. It was like I'd broken through an invisible wall. All that remained was this exhiliarating feeling of hyper-awareness and joy. Freedom like I'd never experienced. I reveled in it as we continued to gallop along. Then my horse ran out of steam, and gradually dropped to a canter, then a trot, then we caught up to my friend and paused for a breather.

It was one of the most amazing experiences of my life.

And dealing with manifestation is like that. The adrenaline wall is like the misinterpreted emotions of fear, doubt, hopelessness and impatience that come when you begin to wonder, what is taking this so long? Why isn't it happening? Asking these questions creates resistance, which derails the manifestation. It actually repels it. The moment you say, "why isn't it here yet?", it stops coming to you. Even if it is RIGHTHEREABOUTTOMANIFEST. It just veers off to the side like a dog that charges you then gets distracted at the last moment.

To conquer it requires staying focused on the goal, rather than the emotions—firmly refocusing on the goal if necessary—and to recognize the emotions for what they are: the signal saying, hang on, it's coming. The manifestation is developing.

The energy of it starts small and rises to a deafening crescendo that peaks right before it manifests visibly.

That energy crescendo is what we sense, and IT is the cause of the feeling inside we identify falsely as discomfort.

It's not. If anything, it should excite us to feel this, once we recognize what it is. And if we recognize this, and ride it out even as every fiber of our being is screaming, PULL UP, PULL UP, stop the feeling from coming any closer... THEN we get over the hump and achieve our wildest dreams.

Let's watch and see what the next few days brings, shall we? ;-)

Labels: breaking news, horses, Law of Attraction, musings

posted by Jeanne @ 6:26 PM 3 comments

RIP Farrah, MJ and Ed

Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson, and Ed McMahon.

God must not have been able to find much on Cable TV today, to have to call three legendary entertainment personalities home in one day.

RIP, y'all.

***edited to correct: I wasn't online or in touch—I guess Ed died Tuesday.***

In happier news, the new realtor handling Grandma's house seems to be more focused. There is a historic renovator interested, as well as an older cousin who bears our family name (which is also the name of the street the house is on). I'm voting for it to stay in the family, because nothing would make me happier and make me feel better about letting it go. So—send a few words up to the Big Ear in the Sky about all of this (esp the house sale!) and keep happy house-sold vibes going.

Cuz it's my birthday on Monday, and I've been telling everyone, all I want for my birthday is to have that house SOLD (for a good price) and the estate closed shortly thereafter.

Rock on...

Labels: breaking news

posted by Jeanne @ 7:13 PM 3 comments

I Got An Interview!

Praise God, Hallelujah, I FINALLY got a job interview!!!

It's 20 hours a week at minimum, but IT IS A START. Let the floodgates open, let the interviews flow in, let the income roll, let my life turn around for the positive!

AMEN HALLELUJAH AMEN!!!! Thank you Big Guy in the Sky!

This and an acoustic gig, and I might just make it.

Cross yer digits, and keep me in positive vibes Thursday afternoon. :-)

Labels: breaking news

posted by Jeanne @ 4:39 PM 4 comments

Dear Anonymous Commenter

You read a post from three years ago at this link about the Celtic Cross scarf I was making as a Christmas gift.

You commented:

At 12:29 AM, May 04, 2009, Anonymous said...

Hello! I love the celtic braid you are making, the problem that I have is that I have search all internet looking where this pattern is sold and I can`t find it! please, where this pattern is located?

Thank you!

I'd love to answer directly, but you left me no contact information. But I will tell you this, in case it wasn't clear from subsequent posts: as stated in this post,

(it's an original pattern published by the yarn store's "house brand").

There once was a fiber store in town called Fiberworks Knitting and Weaving. The purveyor of said shop designed his own patterns under the name Otter Originals, one of which was the Celtic Cross Scarf I knit up. Unfortunately for Anonymous, not only is the pattern not published commercially, but the store went out of business a year or so ago.

However, I recall seeing a commercial pattern out there somewhere as recently as last month. I remember I looked at it, thought, "Gee that looks just like the Celtic Cross I made", and promptly forgot about it until now.

My suggestion: try Ravelry. Or look at Knitty.com or other commercial designers. It's out there. And next time, leave contact information. Thanks!

Labels: breaking news

posted by Jeanne @ 3:13 PM 0 comments

Existing

Hiya.

Still out here. Just really busy and consumed with a new venture that I'll be launching very soon. Unlike my usual modus operandi, I'm going to sit on it until it's ready. But I think you will all like it. More later.

Until then, if it's radio silence from me, that's why. But I'm still here! Hope you're all doing well.

Labels: breaking news

posted by Jeanne @ 9:25 PM 2 comments

Make It Happen

I know what I’ve been overlooking all this time. I’ve seen behind the door that my brain was shielding from me, and I know what I am. It’s all good. But what I am isn't the important part.

What really knocked my socks off is this.

All this time, I’ve focused on possibility. I’ve asked the Universe, “please—make it possible for me to go to school in 2009”... “make it possible to sell the houses and close the estate”... "make it possible for me to move on".

Note the phrase, “make it possible”.

The Universe has answered, of course. It has shown me through example that it is INDEED possible.

Yet, nothing was changing.

Nothing was happening.

Oh, DUH, I thought, as this was revealed to me in meditation today.

What I should have been asking was, “make it happen”.

Note the SLIGHT variation on the phrase, and the critical word shift. Note how it totally changes the meaning of the phrase.

Please—make it happen for me to go to school in 2009
Make it happen—sell the houses and close the estate
Make it happen for me to move on

That’s the part about my successful past manifestations I wasn’t able to see before. Several times, while at the old barn, I thought, I need to find a Parelli-friendly barn where my other special-needs horse will be cared for the way I want her to be. I wondered if it were possible. I asked for it to be possible. I discovered that it was. There were barns all over the country that were Parelli-friendly or Parelli-centered, where AANHCP natural hoofcare was practiced and/or supported. But I found no barns near me that were centered that way.

Then one day, my situation at the old barn changed, and a move was imminent to protect my horses. I realized I had to find that barn.

I had to make it happen.

Once I decided that it had to happen, that I had to find that barn and move those horses, IT DID happen. Within 24 hours, I HAD THE BARN. Within 72 hours, the horses were relocated.

Before that: after the fall from my horse that terrified me, I'd examined my priorities and realized having another horse better suited to me might be helpful. I knew it was possible to find a better-suited horse. Once I’d decided I needed to find a partner to help me over the Cheerios fear, I made it happen and found the Late Great Wildflower. Then, I’d not only realized it was possible to take my horse to a clinic and get help, I’d decided that one day, I would make it happen.

Within hours of buying Wildflower and bringing her home to the boarding barn, a spot opened up in a sold-out Level One clinic; the 12 people in front of me on the waiting list all declined the spot; and I found out that the girl from my barn who had trailered Wildflower home for me was going to the Level Two clinic right after mine, and offered to take us! Bam, bam, bam. Make it happen? I'd say so. Ten days after buying my new partner, we were on our way to the clinic I thought would be years away.

And then I needed to find a way to hold onto Cheerios... such as leasing him out to the right person for awhile to offset board and keep him busy. So I made it happen. The leaser appeared one day, and so it went for three wonderful years—just enough time to get me to the point of being more savvy for Cheerios. Funny how that all worked out.

All because instead of focusing on the possibility of it, I shifted to focusing on making it happen.

Why has this been so elusive all this time? Right there in front of me! The key to the whole smucking thing!

What we focus on, expands, right? So... Focus on the possibility of something, you’ll get more evidence of the possibility. But possibility is a concept, not an action. Focus on having something HAPPEN, and something WILL HAPPEN.

Yes, it is possible to sell Grandma's house for a cash offer of $100,000 within the next week. Plenty of homes are selling for all kinds of prices, regardless of what the "economy" or "market" indicates. And if I continue to focus on the possibility of it, that is what I will get: more evidence of possibility without action.

If I want to see it manifest, I must change one word. Change “possibility” to “happen”.

It’s already possible, make it HAPPEN. Focus on the happening of it.

Therefore, I hereby declare:

I know that it is POSSIBLE for me to have the money to attend college this semester—I’ve decided that the Universe is now making it HAPPEN. It’s possible to sell Grandma's house for $100,000 cash within 24 hours—I hereby declare that the Universe MAKE IT HAPPEN. Make it happen, NOW. Thank you in advance, Universe, I am ever grateful that this has been made to happen.

Smuck possibility. Make it SO, Number One!

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Labels: breaking news, Law of Attraction, musings

posted by Jeanne @ 5:29 PM 3 comments