Monday, November 26, 2007

Neon Blue, Of Course

Your Brain is Blue

Of all the brain types, yours is the most mellow.
You tend to be in a meditative state most of the time. You don't try to think away your troubles.
Your thoughts are realistic, fresh, and honest. You truly see things as how they are.

You tend to spend a lot of time thinking about your friends, your surroundings, and your life.
What Color Is Your Brain?

It's true. I have Blue Brain.

I think since it's Cyber Monday, this calls for bullet points.

  • The adorable horselet? Not buying her. She is too big to fit into my budget right now and despite what the LoA dictates, I'm not foolish enough to risk bankruptcy in three months over a baby horse. She's cute... but I think she was there to remind me of my PNH goals and spark my flagging interest. (It worked.)
  • RIP Kevin DuBrow. The Riot will be extremely Quiet from now on, since the singer has died. Only 52. Shame.
  • RIP Casey Calvert, guitarist/"screamer" from the band Hawthorne Heights (a band I'd never heard of until today). Only 25. That makes two well-known musicians to die today. Who will be the third?
  • Toledo voted third most livable city IN THE WORLD. Please prepare to report for the Rapture. It has to be the end of the world because this is impossible for me to believe, having lived in Toledo. (Yes, Toledoans, I don't like it. Aren't you glad I moved?) ;-)
  • Organizing Challenge: the living room cleanup has failed. Because I'm selling my house in Toledo (3rd most livable city in the world, hurry and buy now because I'm tellin' ya she won't last long), and it goes on the market 11/30, I have been focusing on cleaning IT.
  • Being the musical genius *cough cough* that I am, I figured out a way to import several of my favorite affirmation MP3s from podcasts into separate tracks in Cubase™, then line them up so they were in an order that had a nice flow, then export as one big MP3. Then I uploaded that to my cell phone's memory card.
  • As an experiment, last night, I laid in bed listening to it—yep, earbuds, cell phone, affirmation MP3—before falling asleep. I listened twice. I fell asleep in the middle of round two. I slept soundly. I woke up feeling more centered. I've behaved slightly differently today. I feel better.
  • Therefore, my plan for the week (in between revving up the Toledo house) is to design my own personalized affirmation MP3 (since I have the technology). I want something about a half hour-45 minutes long, with a very simple quiet sound loop (I can so do that), and affirmations that address specific issues I've been challenged by. I want to see if I can totally retrain my brain subconsciously before sleeping... and see if it actually does change my life.
For example. I realized with a shock what my most basic, core belief is, and it scared me to death. While thinking about beliefs I have and how to change them, I heard my Mother scoffing at me.
Do you really think that all those affirmations and statements are gonna have any effect on your life? It might change what you believe to be true, but it's not going to just magically change the way it REALLY is.
Now, how am I supposed to work with that? I'm studying a philosophy that teaches that by changing your core beliefs, you affect change in your life—but my core belief is that it WON'T work. If I don't even believe that changing beliefs has an effect... um... kind of a problem, dontcha think?

So I'm sitting here telling myself I choose statements, reaffirming my intent, doing my best to shift my beliefs from limiting ones to the kind that will manifest my dreams, but my core belief tells me "yeah, cute how she does that, but she'll be so disappointed when she's changed all of her beliefs but all hell came crashing down on her anyway, because the way it is now is how it IS, and the logical natural progression of things from how it stands now is down—there simply IS no other way for it to go unless, ha ha, a miracle occurs or magic really exists, and all the mystical affirmations in the world aren't going to change that, so she's just kidding herself. Tsk tsk. So sad."

Well, I'm stumped. NOW what do I do?

No wonder my brain is blue!

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At 8:02 AM, November 27, 2007, Blogger becky c. said...

Rome wasn't built in a day. It will take some time to get your Mother's voice out of your head. Your core beliefs at, say 13 years old, were certainly not what they are now. All is fluid, nothing stays the same.

At 5:25 PM, November 27, 2007, Blogger Sheepish Annie said...

Changing one's mindset is tough. A lot goes into building those responses. But, most theories of behavior and learning say that we can, indeed, change the patterns! Keep at it!

I took the brain thingie yesterday. I'm all purple, if I recall correctly.


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