Saturday, November 24, 2007

Nominate

Nominate: designate, select, appoint, suggest, choose.

As you know, I'm really into that Law of Attraction thing. (Knitting? What knitting? Oh, it's around here somewhere... OK, I'm on the last repeat and a half of Sock #2 of the Embossed Leaves socks and when the toe is done I will post a picture. Promise.)

Today, I found another LoA blog, relatively new, by Colin Joss. He's not a heavy poster, but he makes some profound entries. Like this one from June. In it, he talks about the ONE MAGIC WORD that is the key to manifesting your desires. The one we forget to include.

Choose.

Well. I read his post. Then I mulled it over. I agreed wholeheartedly with his admonition that every time he voices an affirmation (that has even the slightest air of grandiosity about it), that little voice mocks him and tells him he's lying.

I'm very familiar with that voice.

It's the same voice that snorts in disbelief when I affirm things such as "I'm OK right now in this moment. I have more than enough money on hand right now." It snorts, and says, "Yeah, but the minute you pay a bill... pretty soon, you won't be all right!" The voice that screams "OMG we are NOT all right!" It's the voice, I think that awakens me bolt upright at 3 AM (if I'm asleep by then) and sends me into a panic attack with the "what ifs":

What if the estate doesn't close in the next month or so?
What if Grandma's house doesn't sell until 2009?
What if the house in Toledo doesn't sell, or only gets low-ball offers?
What if something terrible happens requiring large amounts of money to fix?
What if you can't ever get another job?
What if you don't make it at some level in the music biz?
What if, what if, what if... yaaarrrrrrrgggghhhhhh


I lie there talking myself down from the ledge. I tell the Voice to SHUT UP. (Yes, literally, out loud.) I tell it that the money we're currently living on is, if used conservatively (ie the lack of yarn crawls lately), plenty to see us through for a while. I tell it worst case scenario I might have to take a crappy job I can't stand* if only to pay bills and that I think "we" are smart enough to do that before it gets really bad. I tell it the houses WILL sell if we believe they will.

I tell it just because it looks a little scary right now doesn't mean it's going to stay this way OR that it's going to get scarier—life changes. It HAS to get better eventually. Just because it isn't wonderful today, this moment, doesn't mean that tomorrow won't be better. A lot can happen in a day, a week, a month, a year. Life today is not the same for me as it was this time last year. Or this time in 2005, or 1993, or 1978. There were days when it seemed like it was never going to get better, then it did; or vice versa.

Hell, a lot can change in an instant. Ask anyone who has sat beside their dying loved one, who has observed that one moment, the person is breathing and alive, and the next minute, they aren't. Ever. Again. That's not the most positive anecdote... hmm. Or, ask someone who was lonely and single one day, then the next day they turn a corner and bump into someone and it turns out to be the person they marry. Or ask someone who's having a baby. One minute they are one; then they are two and an entirely new life is here.

Then I lie there and run through affirmations, positive thoughts, taking all the scary stuff and turning it around. When my version of Hysterical Mind (thank you, Sheepish Annie, for coming up with the perfect name) tries to take over and flash visions of my bank account balance in a downward spiral with bells of doom clanging wildly and emboldens and enlarges the "current balance" number as it shrinks before my eyes, I tell it again to shut up, then I force the vision to shift. I simply add zeros to the left of the decimal point. Just take the number where it currently stands, and scoot it to the left one or two spots. Try it—it's easy to turn 110 to 1,100 to 11,000 to 110,000 to 1,100,000, then hit pause and hold it firmly until something inside you relaxes and you don't have to use as much energy to keep that big number floating in front of you. I visualize the tally increasing, bigger and bigger and bigger until it is to a realistically-attainable and comfortable level.

Still, sometimes when I imagine a million-dollar bank balance, I hear snickering from That Voice in the background.

Today I've realized a couple of things. The word "choose" was actually the second of the two, but we'll examine it first. Like Mr. Joss says, rather than affirming something like "I make $10,000 a month" (which is sure to send That Voice off into fits of hysterical laughter), just add "choose to" to the mix.

"I choose to make $10,000 a month."

OK, I tried it with one of my own affirmations, which *cough* is "I am the multimillion-dollar winner of the MegaMillions (Classic Lotto) jackpot".

Hear the giggles? The rolling of the eyes, the "yeah, right! in your dreams!" that comes spewing forth? Good. Now try it this ways:

"I choose to be the multimillion-dollar winner of the MegaMillions (Classic Lotto) jackpot."

Funny. Can't seem to mock that.

The first realization I had early today over mornternoon coffee was that maybe my mistake is in fixating on HAVING a set amount of money in the bank. (It elicits the same snort from That Voice, because how much is enough? What if you spend it all and need more? It IS possible to spend millions. Not that I currently have that worry, but still.)

What if I focus instead on the process? Because what gets any of us into financial trouble is the process of spending more than we make/have. The outflow is greater than the inflow. So we think, well, if I had MORE money, that wouldn't be a problem. But many have found that something interesting occurs: we think if we get a raise, we'll be better off. And we are, for awhile, until we elevate our lifestyle just a tad, and suddenly, we need more again to meet the new expenditures. So since we can never really have "more"... it's not about needing MORE.

It's about SPEED.

It's about reversing the PROCESS.

The money flows out FASTER than it flows IN. That's the process that gets people into trouble, whether they make below minimum wage or are Donald Trump™. It's not the amount, it's the speed of transfer and the direction of flow.

So... to be financially solid, another new term I particularly enjoy (better than solvent because although one definition of solvent relates to being well-off, it also is a product used to dissolve things), maybe the thing to do is reverse the thought process to this affirmation:

I generate income faster than I can spend it.

We can expand on that:

I generate income from multiple sources faster than I can spend it. There is always more than enough money on hand for everything I need and desire.

Again, it still makes my mean little inside voice smirk. So let's combine today's lessons. Reverse the process, and add "choose".

I choose to generate income from multiple sources faster than I can spend it. There is always more than enough money on hand for everything I need and desire.

Say it out loud with me once. How does it feel inside? If adding the second sentence sets off your own Inside Voice of Mockery, just eliminate it—or add choose:

I choose to generate income from multiple sources faster than I can spend it. I choose to always have more than enough money on hand for everything I need and desire.

Feels pretty good, doesn't it?

I choose. Powerful stuff.



*What do I have against getting a job? Nothing, except that jobs are not THE lone source of income. Also, I'm knee-deep in estate distribution still (meaning gargantuan task of sorting through stuff) which is like a full-time job. And I tend to get distracted by jobs, get off course, and I have this opportunity to avoid that and stay on the course I want to be on. For once. Focusing on music and horses unencumbered. I'm indulging the opportunity while I can. If a job opportunity comes along that is in alignment with my goals, I'll consider it, but I'm not taking any old job just for money. It might sound like backwards thought, but it isn't, according to my studies. It's "watch what everyone else does, and do the opposite". It works.


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