Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Momentary Pause

OK, just a quick'un because I'm off to Insanknitty tonight (high winds be darned).

The Organizing Project
There will be photos soon. I charged the batteries, fired up the Pentax, and took Honesty Shots of the whole house (except the cat room). I've batch-resized them and will upload to Flickr later. (The internet connection has been spotty today because of the wind.) Then I'll post a couple of teasers and a link to the Album of Shame.

However, they are "old" photos now. More stuff has been moved. Things are falling into place (rather than falling on me as I pass by). There is progress.

Happy.

Visualizations, Etc.
In Joe Vitale's book "The Key: The Missing Secret to Attracting Anything You Want", there is an exercise where you have a conversation with your body, or rather, you sit down and listen to what it has to tell you. Details in the book, but I wanted to jot down my experience. I did a test with that last night. My assumption was that I'd hear first from my knees or ankles or maybe my hands.

Wrong.

First to speak was my breathing area. I noticed how tight it felt. I realized it felt normal for it to feel this way. I let it speak. It told me that it was tight and breathing shallowly like it had been doing for two years because it was waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Basically, I realized I've been holding my breath for two years straight. I inquired further. My body said that the other shoe always drops, something bad always happens, and especially after a string of days where it's nothing but good, it's like it's time.

Interesting.

I realized the source of this was because in 2006, I laid there every night afraid to sleep for fear I wouldn't hear the phone ring. I laid there afraid I'd miss that horrible 6 AM call that was bound to come (and did on several occasions). I started holding my breath out of fearful anticipation.

Well, I set my body straight on this. I reassured it that the worst was over—my parents were gone, there would be no more 6 AM phone calls and besides, the phone hardly rings anymore anyway, so relax. The other shoe doesn't have to drop. There IS no other shoe. Even if there is, we are perfectly capable of handling whatever comes our way. We (meaning me and my body) endured what IMHO is the worst possible experience one can have (loss of a spouse/child/parent) and gee, look how well we are doing on the other side—therefore we must have survived it, right? So relax—breathe deep, and expect GOOD things to happen.

You know, I feel much less tense today, and my breathing is deeper. Sometimes it tenses up, but I just keep reminding it, "good things, relax, good things".

That's all... time to be off.


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