Sunday, December 02, 2007

Brain Barf

Well, I was going to post an entry about my experiments with the affirmation MP3 that I created for myself, but... I needed to edit. The original version was too long. I couldn't even get through it. (You may feel the same way about this post, I don't know.) As written, the entry I almost posted comes off like the incoherent ramblings (IMHO) of an insane person. I know I'm out there sometimes but if it's striking me as out there...

Let's just say that I completed my assignment and made the 38-minute MP3 (with a 12-page script of affirmations) and successfully uploaded it to the cell phone and fell asleep to it last night, and that the resulting aftermath today was not what I expected, but... astounding.

OK. Since I have to share this with someone...

Because I've read so much about the effect that limiting beliefs have on the probability of manifesting stuff, and I know I've been carrying around a TON of them (aren't we all), I wrote a specific affirmation in my script to deal with that:
Each of my limiting beliefs now rises, one by one, to the surface of my consciousness, where it is acknowledged, identified, understood, and released. I choose now to identify, understand, and release ALL of the limiting beliefs and to carry this understanding into my waking consciousness. Any obstacle that has inhibited my progress in the past is now gone. I choose to let it GO.

I was expecting to wake up yesterday (Saturday) feeling the way I've felt all week listening to the other MP3s (optimistic and centered). What I wasn't expecting was to spend the entire afternoon dealing with brain barf. My brain basically projectile-vomited as many of my limiting beliefs as it could, and I had to acknowledge, identify, understand and release them.

Out of this hurl-fest arose a clarity of purpose that I have not had since I was small. It's not about being a musician, writer, horsemanship instructor, graphic artist, or whatever. The clarity came when I realized that ALL of this is just surface extraneous stuff—the real reason for being transcends the physical. To really get what I'm trying to say here will require further explanation, but the gist is that it's about the soul's purpose, not the method of manifestation. What I choose to "be", that is, how I manifest my soul's purpose (by "being" a musician or whatever) is not anywhere near as important as the fact that I actually DO manifest my soul's purpose.

I'm here on this earth to give something, and to receive something. What I'm here to get is the understanding of how this whole "life in the physical thing" functions (it goes way beyond grow up go to college get job make money get married have kids buy big screen TV) and learn how to play The Game (life) in order to transcend the levels of soul development and achieve enlightenment (a phrase I don't like but have yet to think of a better way to put it). What I'm here to give is my gift—and I'm obligated to do so.

After an entire afternoon of self-analysis, startling revelations and loads of brain barf, I realized that the common thread joining my varied interests is communication. Music, art, writing—methods used to communicate ideas. Natural horsemanship—method of communicating with horses. Metaphysics and natural horsemanship—alternative ways of thinking, perceiving, believing. It all makes sense (to me, anyway).

Perhaps my gift isn't as precise as music or art or animals. Perhaps it is merely the skill of communicating and perhaps music/art/blogging/(fill in blank) is just a vehicle. Maybe I'm a communicator in the way that some are healers. Maybe my soul's job is to teach (impart knowledge, not necessarily pursue the profession). Maybe the knowledge I'm to teach has something to do with all this Law of Attraction stuff I'm learning about, because it—whether you call it LoA, prayer, faith, spells, meditation, visualization or something else—IS the whole key to "winning" (ascending) the "game" (the levels of enlightenment) of "life" (the soul's experience within a physical construct).

When we gratefully and eagerly share our gift, it sends a message to our souls. It is in alignment with our most authentic self (soul) and our purpose. The soul responds with an outpouring of positive energy. This energy attracts to it like energy—so we experience the ever-expanding abundance of the Universe. In human terms, when we shift our attitudes, drop our limiting beliefs, and follow our most authentic bliss without reservation, we get great things in return. Good things start happening for us. That proverbial ship comes in. We live a great life.... as long as we stay in alignment with our SOUL'S purpose and continue to freely share that gift without getting caught up in the rewards (putting more emphasis on the rewards or trappings than on the soul's purpose/message).

I'm out of steam now, so I'll leave you with this for now.

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At 5:05 PM, December 03, 2007, Blogger tiennieknits said...

J - now my brain hurts reading your post. Too much thinking on my part.


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