Saturday, March 29, 2008

Shoveling Brings Clarity

So I'm shoveling stalls at the barn in exchange for board, did I tell you that? I'm also assisting with the teaching (training) of the barn manager's horses as part of it, Parelli-style, but more on that another day. Shoveling 40 wheelbarrows full of horse deposits tends to allow a lot of time for rumination.

Apparently, I ruminated myself into a migraine yesterday. But when I woke up this morning, I had clarity on this estate situation. (Apologies for the venom in my last post. I'm still learning how to take these opportunities to practice peace rather than detonate. I realize emotional detonation is fear-based, and I need to be more faith-based, so... anyway...)

What I realized is that I was focusing on the wrong thing the whole time.

I also realized that the REAL obstacle is NOT Nemesister, the estate "lawyer", or the estate itself.

The REAL obstacle is the two unsold lots.

If they were sold, the argument would be finished, because we'd know that within 30 days, we'd be closing on the sales, and ALL the profits would be available for distribution. What causes the argument is the open-endedness due to the lots still being on the market, and Nemesister's and my individual financial needs/desires.

I understand that we both have dreams we are trying to achieve, and we both have problems we need to fix, and issues to address, and that while we are both responsible for fixing our problems ourselves and are doing everything in our power to do so independently, the inheritance money would sure go a long way to give us a boost.

I understand that she must be in a horrendous situation to be able to overlook someone else's needs in favor of her own and to find it justifiable to go to such extremes to fix her problems even if it means hurting someone she supposedly loves. So for that, I can forgive her. It doesn't condone her actions or the method of handling it, but it provides me with a bit of peace about it. (Note: this is a really advanced concept for me.)

I doubt there is anything I can say or do that will fix this in her mind. So that leaves only one option.

I need to ask for your help one more time.

All you have to do is this, just like we did before, which resulted in the first sale occurring three days later.

Focus.

Visualize a post.

In it, I'm saying:
OMG THANK YOU!!!!! The two remaining lots SOLD today!!! We got close to our asking price on both!!! We close in 30 days (or less)! Sister dropped all the nonsense because we're dividing ALL the money in a month or less! OMG IT'S FINALLY OVER!!!!!
Put that positive energy out one more time. It worked last time—it'll work again.

I KNOW IT.

Thanks, y'all, for putting up with my drama. May you ALL be blessed beyond belief.



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