ClogLines?

Uh, so yeah.

So I'm working 23 hours per week. It shouldn't interrupt my life all that much, but somehow, it has! How is that?

Anyway, the job is going well so far. Don't think I can do it for the rest of my life, but there are worse things I could be doing. I finally have A job, and the Estate is close to being over forever—yes, it is STILL open, but now it's just a technicality. We're waiting on a couple of big refund checks to put into the Estate account, then we can close up shop. All the other stuff is done. (Warning: boring estate update to follow.)

While I was in Southern Ohio for ten minutes last week, I drove past the old place, fully braced to see an empty lot.

Nope. House looks just like we left it. It's oddly comforting to know that.

When I say ten minutes, I mean that that is exactly how long it took to resolve The Property Tax Nightmare at the Board of Revisions. That's right. I drove three hours (one way) for ten minutes of work. But had I not gone down, we would have forfeited by lack of appearance. The good news is, we won. The FMV was restored to the original amount for 2008 and will equal the actual sales prices for 2009 (which is only about a $3,700 increase in FMV or about $35/year payment extra—which doesn't even matter to us, because the new owners will be paying it).

In addition, because of the fire, the Auditors Office did us an enormous and generous favor. Had we been aware of it, we would have filed a document after the fire to have the FMV of the house reduced due to damage. But we didn't find out about this option until long after the papers should have been filed. The Auditor unexpectedly decided to allow the 50% reduction in FMV on the house ANYWAY!!! I was happily floored.

All in all, the FMV on Grandma's property dropped $128,000 in that meeting! We'll be getting a refund for the property taxes that were overpaid at the last lot closing. No, not $128k. That's the FMV. We'll be getting a couple thousand back, though, that we shouldn't have had to pay.

I walked out of that office feeling about 90 feet tall and a tad bulletproof, LOL! That attitude went with me to the bank where the first lot closing was to sort out the taxation fallout on that closing. You probably don't remember, but there had been a deed mixup, and the man buying a 3-acre lot accidentally was deeded the entire 8.7 acres. Whoopsie there, Title Office!

What we didn't catch at the closing was the tax proration. It had been prorated and deducted from both sides of the closing statements. It was my first property sale, so I just trusted what the realtor said. I know better now. Take a calculator and add up the figures yourself, and KNOW approximately what your prorated property tax should be.

Turns out, the proration the Title Company did was based on the ENTIRE LOT. Not 3-acres of it (about 1/3rd). That means we received less in our proceeds than we should have. Whoopsie.

The attorney from that closing says if we show payment of the taxes made by us, once we know the actual FMV for that year, we are due a refund. Luckily the buyer is an honest decent man. He'll likely make good on it. I feel bad asking, but... it's business. And it isn't much, but... it's business.

Anyway. End of boring Estate update. I promise there won't be too many more of these. If any.

At the moment, I'm just getting used to being an employee again, and enjoying the relief that comes with having an income AND suddenly having the financial cushion again. This time, though, I won't be complacent. I've learned my lessons the hard way, and I'm better prepared this time. I know it all happened for a reason, and as hard as it was, it was GOOD for me.

Maybe one day there will be knitting content in here again. And maybe I can relax now, knowing that at least one post appears in Bloglines tonight (nothing! no posts! freaked me out).

Labels: estate nonsense, gratefulness, nothing important

posted by Jeanne @ 2:32 AM 1 comments

Food

Milk. One gallon. W*l-M*art. $1.88/gallon.

I bought four.

Yes, I can drink that much by the 19th. Easily.

Cool beans. That beats C*rcle K's 2/$5 special anyday. Though I like their milk a bit better.

But of course I would. Because according to the quiz at New York Time Out:

Your Score: 43

You’re a Discerning Diner. You know what you like and it often includes gussied-up grub. But you’re just as happy scarfing a Papaya Dog any day of the week.

(What's a Papaya Dog? It sounds more like something I'd be barfing up...)

Labels: gratefulness, quiz time

posted by Jeanne @ 8:56 PM 5 comments

An Explanation

OK. Before I go offending anyone with it, I feel the Chipped In Widgets to the right over there might need an explanation.

It's true. I'm begging for dollars. I am my own charity. But there is a reason for this, and it has less to do with drumming up donations than it does with activating the Law of Attraction.

My intent with this is to reach out to the Universe to let it know that I'm serious about my goals. I know I've wavered between YES Parelli Instructor NO Parelli Instructor, but after months of self-analysis, it's obvious that although I love playing with string, writing/recording music, and writing period, my deepest most profound passion, the one that makes me cry sometimes just thinking about it, is my horses. (Yarn is lovely, but it doesn't move me to tears.)

When I think about my life and about what I'll miss when I'm gone one day, horses pop up first. If there aren't horses in heaven, I am not going. They are the one thing that make my heart hurt. The thought of never feeling their soft breath on my skin; of never smelling that intoxicating blend of horse hair, manure, hay and sweat; of never hearing the gentle nicker when I enter the barn; of never experiencing the feeling of flying without wings as we canter down the trail through a wooded forest; to never again feel that mystical connection with this most magnificent and amazing creature as we play at Liberty in an open field, with my horse eagerly mirroring my every move and staying with me of his own free will when he could just as easily whirl away...

Excuse me for a moment...

OK. I had to collect myself.

What I'm doing is trying to generate energy by putting a blatant request out there—aimed at the Universe, not necessarily at people. I'm certainly asking for more than I'd need but they say to do that to ensure you get what you need. You, dear reader, don't have to participate unless you want to. My intent is not to milk the pockets of my readers; but to declare a VISIBLE intent that says, I AM DOING THIS: Universe, back me up on my goal.

It might generate some finances toward my dream; it might not. The funds might arrive in a way totally unrelated to the fundraising widgets. The point is to open myself up to the possibilities and get it OUT there.

And there's no way I'd know if it would work, unless I took the risk.

But on the off-chance that there are those who read this blog, are supportive of my dreams, understand what I've been going through and might have the means to assist, I've decided to put it there. It's for them, the Universe and myself.

Lest you think I'm one to sit back and live off of the generosity of others, let me remind you that I'm doing absolutely EVERYTHING to get myself back on track. Including starting an online yarn business, launching a personal fundraising effort, pursuing alternate routes to eliminating the two extra houses I got stuck with in this estate/death deal AND applying for jobs from Marketing Director to Kwik Stop Parking Lot Attendant. After that, it's all up to God.

This is my dream, and I am doing EVERYTHING in my power, offensive or not, to make it happen.

If my fundraising efforts offend you, please just ignore them, and come back for all the news that's fit to Knit. And to canter away with.

Labels: gratefulness, horses, Law of Attraction, positive thinking

posted by Jeanne @ 6:07 PM 0 comments

Nominated

Thank you, Gaby at MagicStix, for the nomination!

Accepting this award means following some rules:

1. Copy the Kreativ Blogger award to your blog
2. Put a link to the person from whom you received the award
3. Nominate 8 other blogs and
4. Link to them
5. Then leave a message on the blogs you have nominated

And pass the awards on to:

Pam at yarn-goddess.blogspot.com
Sarah Lou at www.skeinsandbeans.com
Cristi at turtlegirl76.com
Becky at knitasha.typepad.com
Carolyn at sticksadventures.wordpress.com
Annie at sheepishannie.blogspot.com
Yarn Cravin' (my LYS) at insanknitty.blogspot.com
Carrie K at mymiddlenameispatience.typepad.com

I have nothing more creative to say today, except that it is also my kitty Jake's 9th birthday; would have been my Mother's 89th birthday (and she wasn't too thrilled about sharing her birthday with the "grandkitten") and my parents' 59th anniversary; and yesterday my horse Cheerios turned 12. Busy weekend. I've been out to the barn; everyone is very fuzzy. It was good to get on and ride again, though!

One of these days there WILL be knitting. I'm too busy riding, writing, and dyeing.

Labels: awards, gratefulness

posted by Jeanne @ 4:49 PM 6 comments

Thank You, Dad

For your two tours of duty and for what you did to serve this country (and to all the vets out there living and otherwise), I honor you and give you thanks, Dad. Air Force Captain Dad. I sure do miss you.

(Wasn't he a cutie? This photo sat on my parents' dresser for 50-some years. It was my Mother's favorite photo. Sigh.)

Labels: family time, gratefulness

posted by Jeanne @ 4:38 PM 2 comments

God is GOOD! and Yarn

Labels: breaking news, estate nonsense, gratefulness, sockaholism, stash enhancement

posted by Jeanne @ 6:30 PM 3 comments

Another Fire Update

The good news is, the insurance coverage is intact. Thank you, grace periods. All paid, all good. Now we wait for the insurance adjuster (the actual one, not the after-hours guy) to look at it and assess it.

The fire chief left a message on my machine this morning about the fire. I'm sorry... but am I the only one who thinks it is a little insensitive to leave a message that says:

"There was a fire at your home here in Southern Ohio. Damage is pretty heavy and it looks like arson. If you have questions, call..."

I'm really glad I already knew. That kind of thing before coffee could well have done me in.

I called the chief (I was nice despite it) and photos are on their way. Will I be able to handle it? I suppose it's like death—one must look at the "body" for it to be "real". Right now it's just an airy concept. But the thought of flames and smoke engulfing my Grandmother's beloved home... haven't felt pain like that since Dad died and I heard Mom's prognosis. (At least I know now that I can live through it.)

So we are on hold in limbo yet again. The upside is, we didn't distribute anything yet so it's all there in the accounts for use if needed. I must believe it was God's way of protecting us.

There really are a lot of positives in this. My sister and I reconnecting after our horrid blowout; that this might wind up assisting us in a speedier sale and closure of the estate (if the house is fixed up a little, it might sell faster! Wouldn't THAT be ironic?); that it's brought me deeper into my relatively newfound faith; and I woke up with a song in my head today. A new one.

Though I logically thought that I should take care of biz first then fool around with the song, the urgency to put the song first was so strong I had to obey, and all I had were the first verse and chorus.

I obeyed—and it came pouring out. It wrote itself.

Please understand I do not toot my own horn here, because I know where it came from—I didn't create this, I'm just the channel for it—but I'm awestruck at how quickly it poured forth, how complete and perfect it feels, and how much it says what I've been needing to hear. I cannot sing it without crying. I have three verses, the chorus, and I know how it ends. All I have to do is record it. Then I'll post it somewhere if you're curious.

I wrote it, then I took care of business, and everything began to fall magically into place.

Connected?

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Labels: gratefulness

posted by Jeanne @ 2:10 PM 2 comments

Natal Day and Empty!

Sunday was my birthday. If I live to be 90, I've lived half my days. It was spent quietly, doing absolutely nothing.

Today was Empty The Storage Unit Day. WE DID IT!!!! All out. There was surprisingly less stuff in there than I thought, but it still took three trips. There were several tubs of parental stuff. Yes, it must be dealt with. But it went in the nice shed for now. There was much less of the to-be-sorted/might-keep stuff than I thought! YAY! That feels better.

My friend C and I successfully loaded, then unloaded, a cherry table inherited from Mom, my old stove, my rolltop, the box spring I forgot was in there, the canopy bed frame, a smaller desk, a computer chair, a—well, you get the idea. Everything except the cherry table is going in the garage sale.

IT IS DONE. All of my worldly goods are now under one roof—mine—and no longer subject to fees. Yay. Phase One is complete.

Onto a shower, some vegetation and food, and then begins Phase Two—what the heckuma gonna do with all this stuff? Also known as, I guess I'm having my first-ever garage sale in a week or so!

OH—and there is positive news on the land sales front! More when it's locked in. Today... she was a good day.

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Labels: boring household crap, friends, gratefulness

posted by Jeanne @ 9:56 PM 3 comments

I've Had a Religious Experience

OK. If you are at all offended by God or spiritual things, you're graciously released from reading further. I hope what I'm about to reveal won't come between us, though, and that you'll still stop by and read this blog from time to time. I promise I'll be "me" and not go all "born-again" on you.

But it's hard not to, after an experience like this.

You're all aware, if you've been reading this blog for awhile, that I've had a tough past couple of years. You know I've been in estate settlement limbo, had family animosity, been unemployed and living off of savings, and trying to find my way. I've been learning the Law of Attraction, shedding my limiting beliefs, and in general, questioning my faith and my purpose in this world.

As televangelists are wont to say, "in the natural", meaning as it looks to us based on what we can perceive with our five senses, there are obvious steps for me to take to change my life for the better. The most common reaction by a person in my position would be to drop everything and focus 24/7 on finding a job. They would not "waste time" with alternate activities, or bother focusing on huge reorganization projects. No, they would be focusing on the primary concern: finding a job.

Let me interject that there was a time in my life when I lived differently than I do now, and by that I mean that I was what one would call impulsive, prone to spontaneous decisions, would go "off on a tangent" or "half-cocked" as Mother would say—but what I was doing wasn't random.

I was following the nudges.

I would be sitting there and all of a sudden, I'd get this overwhelming URGE to do something like sew up an outfit for an event that wasn't even occurring but for which I wanted to be prepared. I'd go to the fabric store, find the perfect fabric, the perfect pattern, go home and obsessively sew it until it was ready.

Then, By God, within a couple weeks or days, suddenly the exact event for which it was needed would appear.

Hmm.

I'm not sure I call it "psychic", as everybody has those nudges, that voice that says "hey, pick up some extra milk while you're here" and if you follow it despite knowing you have plenty of milk in the fridge or could go out later, you find out the reason why later; and if you DON'T, you find out the reason why you should have later.

Those are nudges.

You're mulling over your job prospects. You've just made 20 calls and gotten nowhere. You're done for the day. You need a distraction. It suddenly occurs to you, Hey, I think I'll call X and see how they are—maybe we can grab a beer tonight. The phone call leads to an impromptu conversation where X casually mentions that there's a job opening you wouldn't have heard of any other way except you were bored and happened to think of a friend you hadn't spoken with in months and never would have connected with job opportunities. Except he has a friend of a cousin of a friend who is in your business, but you never knew that.

Connections. From the nudges.

I used to live by the nudges. Somewhere in college, I stopped listening to nudges and started listening to that nasty little thing called "reason". Well, let me tell you about Reason. It's completely unreasonable. Since I stopped following the nudges, my life has slowly fallen apart. Back when I was listening, the most amazing stuff happened to me. Great stuff.

So yesterday, pondering my still-largely-jobless status (yes I'm in a band, and yes I have a line on a freelance gig that should pick up as the brand-new printing company gets the word out to their clients about the move and work starts coming in), and I'm up early and wondering what to do.

Common sense—reason—would dictate, go out and look for a job.

A little voice in my head said, screw that. Clean out the wooden shed instead.

That little voice has been pestering me for weeks to clean out the sheds, the deck room, and FINISH the org project despite my arguing with it saying, "but I need to find a job first".

Well, I broke down and listened this time. I cleaned out the shed. (There are two: one is wooden, one is tin, and the wooden one is nicer for storage.)

It went more quickly than anticipated. Once the keepers were safely put away in an orderly fashion and the sellers were in the deck room, I set about going through the dozen boxes labelled "Old Books and Papers" and "Misc".

In one box, I found some of my trinkets. There was a toy that I didn't even remember getting or why. It was a stuffed strawberry, about 2.5 inches in diameter, maybe it was a lingerie sachet but the scent was long gone. I had no reason to hold onto it and it almost went into the Sell box, but I thought that because it was soft, maybe it would make a nice toy for my cats to bat around.

I stuck it in the pocket of my shorts and forgot about it.

Later that evening, I looked up at the clock and realized it was 11:30 PM. Now, when I'm feeling uncertain, I'll admit, I like to watch certain televangelists like the Oral Roberts Ministry (Richard and Lindsay Roberts) and Joel Osteen. I know the concept of Seed Faith can be off-putting to some because it sounds like begging for money... I've since learned otherwise and it's also a LOA concept, but I get that it bugs people. I'd ignore that and listen to the message.

I'd been looking forward to watching it, but had gotten caught up reading old notebooks. Now the program was half over. I considered ignoring the program, but God said "Go watch it anyway".

I sat down in the TV room with my cats. Now, I'll admit, I was a bit disappointed. I thought, "surely God directed me to watch this because Richard's sermon will have a key point meant just for me"—but for some reason, all he was doing this night was= focusing on seed faiths and prayer requests. Not a sermon in sight.

I have to admit, I wondered why the heck I was watching.

I mean, all he does is read off the name of the giver, the city, the seed amount and need. Then he prays that God answers the persons's need and thanks them for their gift.

The show was almost over and he was in the middle of reading yet another prayer request. He listed the name and city, then interrupted himself to make a comment.

At the exact moment, one of my cats rubbed her head against the pocket of my shorts where the strawberry was.

I remembered the toy.

In a simultaneous moment, I reached in and closed my fingers around it and thought to myself "OH—right—the..."

And Richard said "Oh, that's where all the good..."

And I thought in my head at the EXACT moment he said the word on TV:

STRAWBERRY (ies)

Richard had said, "That's where all the good strawberries come from".

The toy in my pocket was a stuffed STRAWBERRY.

I froze. Did I really just hear what I thought I'd heard? And he repeated it.

"I always know where to find the good strawberries".

Goosebumps along my entire body.

It's a Christian ministry program. The chances of the word "strawberry" coming up in a conversation or prayer request or sermon are SLIM. What are the chances that he would speak that very word at the exact moment I put my hand around a stuffed representation of that word? What are the chances I'd have a strawberry in my pocket at that moment?

I'll tell you—unlikely!

The symbolism—that a strawberry looks like a red heart and contains thousands of seeds—is not lost on me, either.

After that moment, all of my doubts are gone. I know absolutely that GOD EXISTS. Like the ORM prayer cloths, that toy has become my Point of Contact with the Lord. Whenever I feel lost or afraid, I squeeze it like a child squeezes the hand of her Father for reassurance, and the fear leaves.

In addition, I'm seeing clearly the lesson that sometimes a seemingly-unrelated chain of events is necessary to lead you to your goal. Had I not followed the inspiration to clean the shed, I would not have found the box containing the toy, I would not have had it in my pocket while watching, and I would not have had this experience. God orchestrated it so that I would have that very symbolic item on my person and be in the right place at the right time to hear HIS message.

I know now without a doubt that all of the financial challenges are behind me, that the blocks to my success are released, and that all IS well because the Lord IS with me. I have the strawberry to prove it.

GOD EXISTS.

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Labels: gratefulness

posted by Jeanne @ 3:32 PM 0 comments

Two In One Day

Another one making the rounds, it's the Gratitude MeMe or Joy Rush. Things I am grateful for:

• that spring is finally HERE!
• the smell of lilacs on the breeze
• the beautiful, enormous flowering white dogwood that has bloomed every season outside my old bedroom window at my parents' house for 45 years. It wasn't supposed to get that big, but nobody bothered to tell IT that. :-)
• the sunshine peeking between the intermittent storm clouds
• watching my cat Blue play fetch with the strip of cardboard removed from a box when I zipped it open. He understands the phrases pick it up, bring it, upsies (jump up), find it... one smart cat, that Blue.
  
• seeing Big Brown's phenomenal Preakness win yesterday
• the soft whuffle of my horse's breath on my cheek during a quiet moment
• the smell of horses
• the amazement of seeing my horse respond to one of my requests (such as, put your front feet on this pedestal and wait) and watching my horse's expression when he realizes he's "got" it!
• clean sheets
• the way the bathroom smells after a long, hot shower
• the coolness in the midst of a pine forest on a hot summer day
• the absolute silence on a dark winter's night after a big blizzard
• the crispness of a first snowfall
• the first crocus that peeks its head out
• the first sighting of new buds on the trees
• baby animals
• the lazy summer day sounds of faraway lawn mowers and children shrieking with glee
• chocolate!
• that I am alive today in this moment
  

Labels: gratefulness, memes

posted by Jeanne @ 6:59 PM 0 comments

Can I Knit on Horseback?

What breed of horse are you? Find out!

You are... a Mustang, the wild breed of horse that roamed America in the 1700's and 1800's. Like the movie Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron, you are an outdoorsy character, you'd rather go camping than attend the fanciest dance in town. Matter of fact, you're rarely in town. You'd rather gallop like the wind in some huge wild prairie, and you're free as a butterfly. (Okay, maybe that's a bad analogy...) You never have and never will have an owner... you're free! Your coat colour will most likely be: buckskin or dun.

---

Cute. Fairly accurate, too.

Well, we've taken the first step on the Parelli Pathway to Professional. Cheerios and I participated in our first PNH clinic together last weekend. My fifth as a rider (I've audited near as many), his first. I knew going into it that it would either be an absolute disaster, or a major growth opportunity.

I'm relieved and pleased to say it was the latter. Our instructor was 2-Star Trainee Jesse Peters, who, ironically, I'd met in 2004 at my last clinic with Wildflower—we were both participants. Jesse was still playing with Level Three at the time (it was a L2/L3 clinic). Four years later, he's on the road to 3-star... I'm starting over with a "new" horse.

Hmm, how interesting. ;-)

It was fantastic. I got a lot of strategies to use with my Left-Brained Extrovert/Introvert bi-polar horse—he flips between Extrovert and Introvert on the fly and sometimes goes into Right-Brained Introvert territory... eh, all this is better posted on my little-publicized horse blog... the point is, yes, he's a bit of a challenge, but yes, he is manageable, and yes, I have the capability to do so armed with new strategies. We made amazing progress. I had some major breakthroughs.

Thing about Parelli is that it's more about the human than the horse, and the Remudas (debriefing sessions where we discuss the sessions) turn into group therapy sometimes because your horse IS your mirror, and often I'll learn something about ME through my interaction with my horse. Such as what I learned about fear.

My underlying fear issues have inhibited me from being as firm as I've needed to be sometimes, which meant I wasn't being very clear about what I was asking of my horse, which caused confusion for both of us, and lead to my horse becoming frustrated because if he didn't know what I was asking, he couldn't find the right answer... so he'd blow up and do the things that create the fear in the first place.

Can you say, vicious cycle?

So I learned to step up and BE firm (but fair and friendly, never mean or mad) when I needed to be, and whoa. I was afraid to be firm for fear he'd get mad.

The exact opposite happened. First, I'd teach, gently. But once there was evidence that he had an idea of what I wanted, I'd nag at Phase 1 but not be very insistent (leading to confusion, etc.). Well, we changed strategies. I'd ask at Phase 1 (very lightly) and give him the opportunity to work it out, but if he didn't respond, move through the Phases and get as firm as necessary. Yes, I DO want you to [insert response], thank you. Then relax. BIG difference. Suddenly my horse has figured out, "Oh, when you start to make that motion, you DO want X. GOT IT." Suddenly, he was very motivated, calmer, and his confidence came up, which brought out his curiosity.

It's fascinating to watch, at least to me and all the other PNH nuts. To some it's like watching paint dry, but whatev. ;-)

Then there was the insight about my parents and my life. Yes. The horse clinic brought up unresolved issues and insights. My parents were my greatest cheerleaders (and annoyances, simultaneously). They were the ones who knew when I needed advice, and when I just needed to hear someone tell me not to give up. Since they died, there hasn't been anyone around to step in at those moments and tell me Do Not Quit. As a result, I've felt very lost since they died. The sad thing is, I didn't even realize this until Day 2 of the clinic while reviewing the previous day's events over my morning coffee.

The trigger was this: I was having difficulty getting firm with Cheerios' butt while asking him to move Sideways—his butt kept getting in my face and I was worried if I asked it to move out of my space, he might kick. Jesse showed me that wouldn't happen. It's about being the leader. He said I need to be persistent and stay with it until I get the response I'm asking for. He looked me in the eye and said to me, "Promise me this—do... not...—" and waited for me to fill it in...

"Quit?" I asked.

Yes. Do Not EVER Quit.

Really, it's like the Karate Kid.

So I'm mulling this over the next morning, and it hits me. One, this is how I've been living my life since they died—hitting roadblocks, not looking for solutions, just giving up or backing down. Quitting. Too easily. Two, the two people in my life who always told me not to quit were gone, and I really needed to hear someone tell me not to quit, but I had no idea how badly I needed to hear it until Jesse said it.

When I went to relay this during Remuda, I lost it. Choked on the "two people" part and sobbed my way through the rest. God Bless Jesse and the other gals—they all got it. That's the thing about Parelli people—they've all had these moments (the men as well as the women). There's an insider joke about how Parelli (like the rock band KISS) has a ton of logo'd items for sale, they should sell logo kleen*x because God knows we students go through it.

It was a big weekend.

No truck just yet. The estate... *sigh*. We went yet another round with the house sale, but THIS TIME, the contract is really, truly, finally done—I think—but it kept pushing the closing date further into the future. They almost had it moved to June but I veto'd that. I said "no way. It closes by the end of May or no go." May 31st. Hey, isn't that 1) a holiday weekend and 2) a Saturday? Oh, well. On or before.

Might not need one as readily, anyway. The barn manager at my current barn trailered us last time and as long as it isn't too far and doesn't conflict with horse shows, she'll do it if I buy the gas. Jesse's coming back to the area twice more this summer, and the barn manager at the hosting barn and I clicked and she offered to come get us if need be. So that's two possible rides. Do I need to buy a gas-guzzling monstrosity and a tagalong trailer? Maybe... maybe not.

Anyway, step one. I think we'll actually pass Level 2 (PDF file) this summer. (Level 3 [PDF] will be the fun one!)

I'm also proud to say I cleaned eight filthy stalls in record time with far less muscular acheage than before, and I seem to have misplaced five pounds.

Oh—and as for that knitting thing, uh, well, I managed to mis-knit two rows on my CPH while philosophizing with B the other night and have to rip back and figure out just where the heck to put my marker so when I don't knit on it for a month or two I'll remember where the cabling row actually IS.

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Labels: estate nonsense, gratefulness, horses, musings

posted by Jeanne @ 5:42 PM 1 comments

Animal/Wollmeise Lovers, Listen Up

My friend Karen (Knoobie Knitter) adopted an adorable doggie named Vinnie.



He wasn't home long before he underwent a big health crisis. He's OK, thankfully—story is here—but despite help from the pet agency from which he was adopted, the vet bills are huge. Karen is having a raffle to help raise money—prizes include Wollmeise, Yarntini, and Yarn Pirate Yarn!

GO DONATE NOW!

Brief update on the Lot Sales: Lot #2 is sold (that was the first one). Lot #1 is pending. We countered. They countered. We... negotiated an option. It's not really a counter to their counter. Their contract asked for an additional 3% (on top of 6% agent commissions). Our lawyer had asked me why we hadn't negotiated that out? Well, uh... because when I asked the realtor about it they said sometimes the banks won't lend the money without it.

Um, OK. So we left it in the first time. This time, I asked if we could leave it out. So the options are, if we leave the 3% in, then we need to ask a slightly higher final price to cover it. If we can eliminate it, then we'll accept their counter as is.

The odd thing is, when I did the math, we actually stand to make more money if we take out the 3% and accept their counter. It's weird.

The best news is that because two of the three lots are for all intents and purposes sold and because it gives us enough financial leeway to satisfy the terms of the Will and "equalize" distribution against the house I received, we can CLOSE the estate upon completing the second sale! The lawyer agreed—AGREED—with me that the third lot is a bonus lot and we can just deed it out to the two of us since we seem to be able to agree on property sales and since it's a 50-50 split.

I'm so glad it's about over.

In final news, I'm taking my horse to his very first PNH clinic next month. It's my first in four years, and my first with a different horse. SO excited!

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Labels: breaking news, estate nonsense, friends, gratefulness, horses

posted by Jeanne @ 9:16 PM 1 comments

Seed Faith, LOA—It WORKS!!!

OMG!

Guess what was e-faxed to me this afternoon!

WE GOT AN OFFER ON THE HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now. It's not close to the asking price. But it is more than half. And, they are very willing to allow us to counter and to negotiate. They plan to gut 90% of it and rebuild—basically they are buying the land and the frame of the house. (And the outbuildings, I assume.)

This is all we needed to have happen in order to settle this thing.

Excuse me for a moment if any of you have God issues you might want to look away because I have something to say. I give ALL the glory up to God because HE ANSWERED MY PRAYERS!!!

I also thank all of YOU for adding your prayers and energies to this!

All right. Now for an admission. Because if I don't make this admission, I'm doing God an injustice.

I did something I've never done before.

Sometimes I watch Joel Osteen. Sometimes I watch Richard Roberts. Well, Monday night I was watching Richard, listening to all these testimonies of how people had a need, planted a seed and lo and behold, their prayer was answered in amazing ways. This lead to an argument with my brain (it happens sometimes).

My brain said "Maybe you should try planting one of those seed faith gifts." I said, "Are you crazy?!? We have bills to pay and barely enough to cover us through the month! You want me to give away a chunk of that to some TV ministry?"

Brain said "Uh, yeah."

I said "What if it doesn't work? Then we're out X amount of dollars. We can't afford to do that."

Brain said "But... what if it DID work?"

Me: *crickets*

Brain: "So you make a charitable donation. It's getting spent somewhere. Might as well give it a shot, eh? Because what if it DID work? Have you ever tried it before?"

Me: "Well... no..."

Brain: "All your LOA books say giving money away attracts more into your life, right?"

Me: "Uh... yeah..."

Brain: "Even the Bible says so. Right?"

Me: "Right..."

Brain: "Nothing else you've tried has really worked, besides a lot of affirmations... what if this is the push you need?"

Me: "Uh..."

And so I mulled it over and I said "OK, God, if you want me to do this, tell me how much."

It just so happens that RR is currently running a mission for $100 seed faith gifts. Well, when you don't have a lot in the bank, that's a month's worth of groceries. Or an electric bill. I was scared.

But RR says "If it doesn't impress you, it won't impress God." The idea "give til it hurts" is accurate to a point. You can't give and be casual about it. You have to feel a little something when you give. Go just past your comfort zone. Well, $100 was just past my comfort zone.

So I called.

It was busy.

I hit redial as the singers were singing.

I said, "OK, if they haven't answered by the time they're done singing, I'm hanging up and forgetting about it."

The singers ended.

I was about to hang up and of course...

I started out with my pledge amount, then I explained my need: to sell the properties in order to settle the estate and end the rift and legal battle that threatens to ruin my family.

I got prayer.

As the lady was praying, the weirdest thing happened.

I began to feel warm all over. Not just warm. Not a hot flash. Not "the heater in the cat room just turned on and I'm toasty". Not I have a fever.

No. This was bigger. I felt like I was in a blazingly hot oven—heat, but no pain. It was that burning. All over.

It was kind of like being in a tanning booth only ten times the heat (and no benefit to my Ohio pallor).

This lasted until just after we hung up.

Draw your own assumptions.

Now, RR comes on at 11 PM Ohio time. The show ended at midnight. I was already in my nightgown with my post-showered hair in a towel.

I was paying by check. Now, I could have waited until the next day to casually write my check. But I didn't.

I got up. Pulled on my sweats. Took off the towel. Found my checkbook. Wrote the check. Put it in an envelope, addressed, etc. Went out into the pouring rain at midnight, IN MY NIGHTGOWN AND SLIPPERS, and drove to the post office to make sure that check was already in the mail. As I slid it into the box, I released my faith.

I'm calling in tonight to share my own testimony.

It really does work.

These buyers want to close on the 30th. Or earlier. Skeptics beware—I know all the many "but what ifs" that y'all could be thinking, but... if you were to read the tone of the letter the buyers sent, you'd know as I do that this IS our answer, that they are very interested, they are open to counters. They said "Please consider this offer, and accept or counter as you see fit. I am confident we can reach terms that are satisfactory for both parties".

Tell me that doesn't sound like a motivated buyer.

:-)

God is awesome.

So are all of you who lent your prayers and energy to this. Bless you all.

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Labels: breaking news, estate nonsense, gratefulness, positive thinking

posted by Jeanne @ 7:32 PM 0 comments

Sell

OK. Very long weekend with lots and lots of personal growth.

I've been rather long-winded lately so I'll TRY to keep this short. (SarahLou, I can hear you snickering...)

We've established the bit about the lots being the obstacle. I've put out the call for energy. I've downloaded The Clearing Audio (finally) and have been listening nonstop. The Clearing Audio, created by Attractor Factor guru Joe Vitale and Portable Empire author Pat O'Bryan, is designed to assist with the removal of counter intentions and limiting beliefs, the things that block manifestation. The concept is that by listening to the comforting new age music in one of three forms, your subconcious will release the counter intentions holding you back, and once they are removed, you will begin to receive nudges about actions to take to move you closer to manifestation. (The three forms: music only, binaural music with subliminal affirmations, or music with audible affirmations spoken by Joe Vitale. You get all three as a package for one very affordable price.)

Well, here is my partial testimonial. I say partial only because it will be complete when the manifestation happens.

I listened to the one with audible affirmations first (last night). Very nice. Went on to watch TV with the cats. A couple hours later when I got up to put my leftovers in the fridge, I got my first nudge:

Call your cousin in Seattle.

OH DUH. Of course! She'd been interested last year in buying the house to preserve family history. But the price was too high (understandable—the price was set because of the potential for subdivision). Now that it is subdivided, the price for the lot with the house is much lower—half—so maybe now it's within reach.

Long story short. I emailed her sister last night. I called the cousin in Seattle today. Then I spoke with two other cousins I haven't seen in years at her insistence. I'll spare you the play by play, but what I realized later after analyzing it was that I'd misinterpreted the nudge.

I'd seen it as "oh duh, call the cousin, she'll buy it, problem solved".

It wasn't about that.

The reason the house hasn't sold yet is because I HAD BLOCKS PROHIBITING IT. I had counter intentions that lead to my resistance to the sale even though I consciously wanted it sold. The block was this:

I was feeling very guilty about selling. This is our family home, rooted in tradition. My Mother was entrusted with preserving it and did. She passed on this entrusted obligation to us. My sister feels no such obligation; I did, for whatever reason, whether out of obligation to Mother or something else. I was afraid that selling the house was an insult to the rest of Mother's family, and that I would be ostracized from the family for doing so. I was also afraid of losing the connection to Mother's family because I'd have "no reason" to travel to southern Ohio if the "checking up on the house" excuse was gone. The house represented to me connection, love, history. I thought they'd all be mad at me for it.

What my cousins told me changed that. Not only was I granted permission that it's more than OK to sell the house, but I was reassured by Cousin in Seattle that I didn't need to feel guilty, that if it really meant that much to the family to preserve the house, they would have bought it so they had nobody to blame but themselves. The other cousins underscored the permission to sell. Nobody's interested in keeping it. It doesn't represent the same thing to them as it did to me. And the best part was when the last cousin I spoke with asked if I ever got down that way, and when I did be sure to let them know because they would love to see me.

It was all I could do not to cry on the phone.

Liberated. That's how I feel. I've been absolved of any guilt. I am now able to forgive myself, and to allow myself permission to sell the house. My connection to the family is intact regardless of the house.

I am clear.

So all I ask is continued support for the intention: Lots 1 and 3 SOLD. Immediately. For close to our asking prices.

You know, it only takes 5 minutes to sell a property. Buyer decides to buy, calls the real estate agent, makes the offer, agent calls seller, seller accepts offer, agent calls buyer, tells buyer offer is accepted, seller sets time to sign contracts. Done. Five minutes.

This is TOTALLY DOABLE within 24 hours or less.

I'll let you know when the deed (ha ha) is done. PS: I've been listening to the subliminal version all day. Over and over. I'm beginning to feel like ANYTHING and everything is possible.

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Labels: estate nonsense, family time, gratefulness, Law of Attraction, positive thinking

posted by Jeanne @ 6:36 PM 2 comments

Shoveling Brings Clarity

So I'm shoveling stalls at the barn in exchange for board, did I tell you that? I'm also assisting with the teaching (training) of the barn manager's horses as part of it, Parelli-style, but more on that another day. Shoveling 40 wheelbarrows full of horse deposits tends to allow a lot of time for rumination.

Apparently, I ruminated myself into a migraine yesterday. But when I woke up this morning, I had clarity on this estate situation. (Apologies for the venom in my last post. I'm still learning how to take these opportunities to practice peace rather than detonate. I realize emotional detonation is fear-based, and I need to be more faith-based, so... anyway...)

What I realized is that I was focusing on the wrong thing the whole time.

I also realized that the REAL obstacle is NOT Nemesister, the estate "lawyer", or the estate itself.

The REAL obstacle is the two unsold lots.

If they were sold, the argument would be finished, because we'd know that within 30 days, we'd be closing on the sales, and ALL the profits would be available for distribution. What causes the argument is the open-endedness due to the lots still being on the market, and Nemesister's and my individual financial needs/desires.

I understand that we both have dreams we are trying to achieve, and we both have problems we need to fix, and issues to address, and that while we are both responsible for fixing our problems ourselves and are doing everything in our power to do so independently, the inheritance money would sure go a long way to give us a boost.

I understand that she must be in a horrendous situation to be able to overlook someone else's needs in favor of her own and to find it justifiable to go to such extremes to fix her problems even if it means hurting someone she supposedly loves. So for that, I can forgive her. It doesn't condone her actions or the method of handling it, but it provides me with a bit of peace about it. (Note: this is a really advanced concept for me.)

I doubt there is anything I can say or do that will fix this in her mind. So that leaves only one option.

I need to ask for your help one more time.

All you have to do is this, just like we did before, which resulted in the first sale occurring three days later.

Focus.

Visualize a post.

In it, I'm saying:

OMG THANK YOU!!!!! The two remaining lots SOLD today!!! We got close to our asking price on both!!! We close in 30 days (or less)! Sister dropped all the nonsense because we're dividing ALL the money in a month or less! OMG IT'S FINALLY OVER!!!!!

Put that positive energy out one more time. It worked last time—it'll work again.

I KNOW IT.

Thanks, y'all, for putting up with my drama. May you ALL be blessed beyond belief.

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Labels: estate nonsense, gratefulness, positive thinking

posted by Jeanne @ 2:22 PM 0 comments

Thank You!!!

You guys must be emanating some killer positive energy, because things have changed!

I'll spill the deets after it's set in stone, but on Friday, we got a REAL offer on one of the lots (Grandma's property is subdivided). It's changed the vibe around the settlement to a much more positive mutually beneficial one. We might actually be able to wrap it up based on this one change.

I really believe it's partially due to YOUR help. Just sending up prayers or whatever form your energy took moved mountains. Thank you SO much.

I'll keep you posted. Lots of snow tonight, but at least we have power, unlike my friend in Vermont where they're having an ice storm without power. Spring IS coming. Really. It says so on the calendar.

Remember to Spring Forward tonight. In 24 hours it'll be later than you think. LOL!

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Labels: gratefulness

posted by Jeanne @ 8:23 PM 2 comments

Just Call Me Clint

OMG!

This has been travelling around the internets for awhile now. I'm honored to have been included—thank you, Knitasha!

Give the award to 10 people whose blogs bring you happiness and inspiration and make you feel happy about blogland. Let them know by posting a comment on their blog so they can pass it on. Beware; you may get the award several times.

Of course, I am a regular reader of the Harlot, Crazy Aunt Purl, Franklin, Rabbitch, and many other all-time faves. I feel that this award should highlight blogs that may not have that level of visibility but are, IMHO, just as interesting to read. It was a challenging decision. As I have well over 200 feeds in my Bloglines that I truly love to read (thank the Good Lord they don't all post daily!), I had to narrow it down to a Top 12. Two-thirds of them are fellow knitbloggers—they are all wonderful people and no further explanation is needed! :-) The last third is comprised of non-knitters and the reason they've been chosen appears in parentheses.

Dr. Joe Vitale (the guru of the Law of Attraction, Mr. Fire himself)
Knitasha Von Stashenskeins
Knoobie Knitter
Mows (if you love cats, you'll love this comic!)
Sheepish Annie
Shim and Sons (her artistic aesthetic is astounding)
Skeins & Beans
Stick's Adventures
Stumbling Over Chaos
T-Town Knitiot
Tiennie
Turtlegirl
Unclutter (my personal clutter "support group")

It's good to feel loved. ;-)

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Labels: breaking news, friends, gratefulness

posted by Jeanne @ 4:24 PM 5 comments

Camera Ready!

FINALLY! My camera is being friendly again. I replaced the rechargeable alkaline batteries the manual swears I can use with a set of lithium batteries, and all appears to be well now. (Must be the lithium—good for moody machinery.)


And so I bring you—knitblogger goodness! Look what Stick surprised me with! YES! My very own set of Bad Word Stitch Markers! I couldn't believe it. How cool is that? I feel special. Thank you, Stick! :-) There are a couple of close-ups on Flickr.



I'm happy to report that more progress has been made on the org front. Oooh, is that a new couch? Why, no—it's a slip cover! Who knew a slip cover could make such a difference?

AFTER


BEFORE


The lone set of curtains from my old living room got tossed in the dryer (no heat) with a dryer sheet to remove the cat hair (it worked!) and are rehung. I swapped the white wicker table for the rolling cart, putting the serger that was on the cart elsewhere and putting the little TV and DVD burner on the cart. Easier to roll out of the way, takes up less room. I'm not fond of the wicker thing anyway. Maybe it can go in the deck room when it is restored to being a useable room again.

Now this room, the Den, is all cozy and warm with rich reds and dark browns. Happy. Still stuff to sort through, but it's moving along.

Oh, I think my pot pie is done...

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Labels: 30-Day Org, boring household crap, friends, gratefulness

posted by Jeanne @ 7:37 PM 3 comments

Update on the Org

I don't yet have any "finished" rooms, but I do have areas that are beginning to show real hope. I can see my dining room table now. I'm clearing spots. I'm generating a large pile of empty boxes. I can walk through the living room again. I can actually get to my yarn closet. Books are back on shelves. Stuff is finding a home.

My method is a bit unorthodox compared to Mr. Walsh's because he would have me sort and trash first, organize/put away later. Instead, I've decided what my "zones" are (as he suggests) then moving all associated stuff into the zones (this is the unorthodox part). Then, as I figure out where everything associated with that area needs to go, I'm sorting. It makes sense to me. If I have X amount of space for this stuff, and Y amount of stuff, I know I either am blessed because I have more space than stuff (which has happened, surprisingly) or I know I need to examine my stuff and analyze if there is anything that really can just go.

I think it's working for me because now I have all of my stuff in one place/one house (storage unit not withstanding, but that's stuff that doesn't get factored in at this point). I can group the bulk of related things together and really see WHAT I have. I think that's better (for me). Rather than trying to decide what to keep or toss in one category when this portion is in one room and that portion is in another, I just categorize, relocate, THEN sort. Plus it's easier for me to deal with one category at a time, rather than trying to sort a ROOM containing many categories.

I kind of need to have it all in front of me in one big pile so I know what I have. That way, I can deal with it all at once. Better for my focus (I really do think I'm ADD). In order to organize all the kitchen utensils, for example, I need to have every utensil visible so I can group according to type then see how many of each I have and isolate the ones I really want and/or would seriously need.

Example: Today I opened a box and found two more can openers (one manual, one electric), bringing the total to five. Five seems to be my magic number. Five cats. Five TVs. Five computer monitors—two are in use. I know there's another "five" in there that I just mentioned in another post, but you get the idea. The point is, I seem to not realize I already have something (on some occasions) or I wind up with extras via inheritance, and I need to see ALL of them at once to choose what to keep.

It's working.

I do a little bit every day. Some days I do more. Some days I do less. But I still do something. There were a couple of days this past week where it occupied the majority of my day. Today, however, I lightened up. It's Sunday! Day of rest, right? I emptied the box of kitchen stuff that had been sitting on the dining table in this photo (white box with "Relay" in blue):



The majority of that stuff on the table is GONE. Relocated to its associated area, thrown out, and put away.

I also cleared off the coffee table in the living room in this next photo. The lamp stayed. The blankets were put in the clear plastic zippered sheet storage thingie (sitting next to them on the table) and moved to the hall closet (they are "car blankets", they go in the car in case I get stranded in a blizzard), the ratty ripped slippers (black and green) were thrown out (derrr), the plastic garment bags were moved, and Dad's shirt was added to the Parental Storage Tubs (it still smells like him).



Small efforts, but efforts nonetheless. I'll take more photos this week to show the progress.

It seems that I look at this as sort of like my "day job" right now. I report to it daily and spend several hours at it. I never thought it would get done, but... it's getting done. The more I do, the easier it gets to continue doing it.

Also coming up this week, I got a surprise in the mail this week (a good one) from a fellow knitblogger that deserves some attention! I couldn't believe it. It's so fun! More on that in an upcoming post (need light for good photos).

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Labels: 30-Day Org, boring household crap, breaking news, friends, gratefulness

posted by Jeanne @ 5:50 PM 2 comments

Final Countdown

Well, twenty aught seven is coming to a close and TWO THOUSAND GREAT is almost upon us. What are you doing tonight?

At this point, it's 9:04 PM and I have no plans to go out on the town. But who knows? That could change. I ran to the store earlier for cat food and a bottle of champers (champagne)—why not, eh? I might have to run out again for another gallon of milk as they are predicting a winter storm, 6-8 inches of snow, and though I have a gallon and a half in the fridge... better to be prepared, I say.

2007 was a definite improvement over 2006 and I'm excited about what life may bring in 2008. One of the podcasts I listen to regularly comes from Karen Linew, Law of Attraction Tips. Karen also issues an email newsletter. The most recent issue included an exercise I found to be most interesting and that I plan to do tonight. I pulled this from the newsletter in case you wanted to try it for yourself:

WANT TO KICK IT UP A NOTCH THIS YEAR?
Every New Year's Day we (Karen and her husband) brush away the cobwebs in our heads if we've been out celebrating the night before and we get really excited about the upcoming year. We look forward to this day because it has helped us to create some simply amazing things.

Here's what we do:

1. We talk about the incredible way our lives have changed for the positive in the past year and how thankful we are for all of it.
2. We discuss our challenges but mostly focus on how we overcame those challenges and created a positive outcome.
3. Next we chat about the things we have most appreciated about the year—whether it's been new relationships, new stuff or new personal achievements.
4. Our discussion then moves to what we would like to see happen next. We talk about what we would like to achieve in our professional, health, fun, financial, home and spiritual portions of our life. (Note: we do 1-4 and 6 weekly as well)
5. Our next step is to write down everything. We each have our own special books where we write all of this down. Each of these items is written in the present tense or in 'I Am' statements which are incredibly powerful.
6. We then review the many shared items and talk about how exciting it is to have these things in our life. (We don't try to figure out how any of this will happen and we don't talk about how it will be orchestrated—this is a definite no-no!)

Remember, what you focus on is what you get, so if you want things to change—you cannot focus on what is—you'll only get more of that.

There you have it. Another of my personal gurus suggests writing a list of the things you want to be, do and have in the next 12 months, as if you already are, are doing, or have them, then put the list away until December 31, 2008. The key is to write them as if they are currently happening:

• I drive a dark red Dodge Ram 3500 with custom leather interior and a gooseneck towing package
  
  
• I transport my horses in a 3-horse slant-load gooseneck trailer
  
  with a weekender package*
  
  in the Sonoma Pottery Decor
  
  



• I am at the Parelli Center in Ocala, FL
  
  with Cheerios doing the six-week intensive and having a blast
  
• I'm riding in a brand-new Parelli Fusion Saddle
  
  
• I am healthy and in great shape
• I just sold my house in Toledo for my list price
• I just sold the other property for the list price
• I am the sole winning MegaMillions jackpot ticketholder
  
  
• I am composing music soundtracks for meditation and affirmation CDs professionally
• I am writing a book
• I am a prosperity coach making $300,000 per year
  

You get the idea. ;-)

Be safe, be well, and see you next year!

*Weekender package: that's a horse trailer with the most minimal living quarters possible—a bed up in the "neck", a kitchenette, a foldout dining table for two, and a "cowboy shower" (shower stall with a toilet in the middle, a space saver). So's I can "camp" for six weeks and save on lodging. Of course... if I've won the lottery, would that really be an issue? LOL!

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Labels: gratefulness, holidaze, Law of Attraction, positive thinking

posted by Jeanne @ 7:18 PM 0 comments